Scars and Nightmares: Chapter Five

Scars and Nightmares: Chapter Five

AN: I sincerely hope you guys like Edward's point of view on this. It won't happen often. I'm only updating this now because of my annoyance over the lack of updates of other people's stories.

Characters belong to Stephenie Meyers, this particular story still belongs to me.

EPOV

Walking out the door to Jasper's room I felt his eyes follow me. He was clearly checking out my ass, which was a good thing, that meant he hadn't completely given up on life, even if he thought he had. My neck, face and ears turned bright red though at his stare. When I turned my head a little to look at him his own face flushed pink, embarrassed at being caught. He mumbled a “Sorry.” Then he went back to staring at the ceiling.

Out in the hallway I had to sit in one of the chairs there and calm down. Even though I'd been through a lot of therapy in my lifetime I still never thought I'd be faced with something like this. Putting my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands I tried to shut out the memories but couldn't. I was already twelve when the man had taken me, I still looked younger though, not having fully hit puberty. The man took me from a parking lot. I had gone to the mall with my mom and she'd only turned her head for a second and I'd been snatched from her.

The man had kept me locked up naked in his house for over a week. He'd made me watch video after video of each of the kids he'd messed up before raping me. He had tied me to a chair and sat me down in front of the screen to see the torture he'd given the others. Each time I tried to close my eyes and look away I was smacked around. The boy that had gotten to me the most was the blonde one, he looked the most innocent of them all. His wide blue eyes were terrified, his cries hurt my soul. It was after watching that that I decided if the man didn't kill me I would kill him. He would never be allowed to do that to another child again. I'd make sure of it and I did.

Picking up the knife I stabbed it into his thigh right where I knew the artery would be. As a child I was curious and had looked at my father's medical texts fascinated by the human body. I knew where it would be and was at the best height to use it to my advantage. What I didn't know was how much blood there would be. It was shocking that I could look at blood at all now after that.

Emmett's voice broke me out of my reverie when he said “Dude, are you okay?” I only looked up at him. “You look like you've seen a ghost.” Emmett said and I sighed. In a sense, I had.

“I'm sorry, Edward.” Emmett said.

“Why?” I asked.

“For thinking that you two would be good together. I didn't know he was that messed up in the head.” Emmett said. I was sure he didn't know why Jasper was that messed up or that I knew why he was.

“It's okay, Emmett. He's your friend and he needs help.” I said. “This kind of stuff doesn't just happen overnight. It usually builds before coming.”

Emmett nodded and said “Yeah, he hasn't seemed like himself for a while... ever since I showed him that box... Oh fuck. That box. What the hell was in that box?”

“I don't know, Emmett.” I told him even though I was certain I did know, but it wasn't my place to say anything.

Changing the subject I asked “Emmett, how did you know when to find him? He was lucky you did, much longer and he would be dead.” I wasn't sure he still wouldn't be. All that tylenol in his system could have caused some very serious liver damage, liver failure. So far he seemed okay, but that didn't mean he hadn't done something to himself. I hoped beyond hope that he hadn't, that was a slow, painful way to die.

“Oh, well he didn't show up for work and he's never late, he never answered his phone either. Also he's been acting weird and depressed all week. It's a good thing I went to look. Doesn't he know how selfish that is? I don't think I could have handled it if he'd offed himself.” Emmett said angrily.

“Uh yeah... I don't think he was looking to hurt you, Emmett. He was just trying to get his pain to end.” I said. I knew and understood it all too well. I'd been placed in therapy as soon as I came home from that nightmare and had gone for years. Even with therapy I still did some pretty stupid shit.

“Do you think it was a cry for help?” Emmett asked me.

Looking up at him I said “No. He never intended for anyone to find him until it was too late. He just timed it just wrong or just right depending on how you want to look at it for you to find him.”

Taking a shaky breath I said “Emmett, I think he'll still try it again. He needs to stay here a while.” Jasper certainly had never recovered as much as I had.

“Yeah, I thought he would.” Emmett said nodding.

“What about his family? No one's been here to visit him other than you.” I asked curious.

“His parents are dead. He doesn't have any other family and he doesn't keep friends around too much. Jasper doesn't have a partner either. I'm the only family he's got and frankly I'm not enough.” Emmett explained to me. That answered why he was worried enough to go check on Jasper in the first place. I wondered if Jasper would let me be part of his family. Whoa... stop thinking that, he wasn't ready for anything close to that yet. I wasn't sure he ever would be either.

“Edward, when are they going to move him to the psych ward? I'm not sure I feel comfortable with him being in a room alone.” Emmett confided in me.

“There aren't any beds, Em. He'll just have to stay there and have someone watch over him. We already removed all the sharp objects from the room.” I told him.

“I saw the scars on his legs... the old ones... What does that mean? How long has this been going on and I didn't notice? I feel like a fucking idiot.” Emmett said his tone sad.

“I don't know, but a long, long time. This didn't just happen, Em. He's been dealing with this for a long time.” I answered. “A counselor is coming to see him in a little while. I hope that they can help him.” I wasn't entirely sure that they could. Sometimes counselors couldn't help more than people that had actually been through the same type of shit you had.

“Okay Emmett, I've got to go and see my other patient's now. Can you watch over him without making an ass out of yourself as usual?” I asked him. He scoffed as though he never did any such thing. I raised a brow at him and he sighed and nodded.

“Can I bring him some food? This hospital food would make me wish I was dead.” Emmett said and I chuckled.

“Yeah, you can. We aren't restricting his diet.” I told him.

“Great. I'm gonna go talk to him and then get us something to eat. You'll be back later to check on him, right?” Emmett asked looking somewhat hopeful, I wondered what that was about.

“Yeah, I'll be back later. I'll probably make him my last patient on my shift so I don't have to leave.” I told him. Emmett beamed at me and waved bye as he walked back into Jasper's room. I hoped he could keep his mouth in check this time.

Leaning my head against the wall I closed my eyes and took some deep breaths before having to get up. When I realized who Jasper was I was surprised. According to his chart we were the same age. The entire time I'd been growing up I thought he was younger than me. He was still a baby when that man hurt him. Even though I was a child when it happened, I didn't feel like one. Jasper though... he was so small and innocent and I wanted to do everything in my power to protect him, to keep him from harm. It never occurred to me that we could be the same age. That those videos were taken that far apart. It made me wonder how many others there had been that had no videos. I sighed, I couldn't keep Jasper from harm, not if he wanted the pain and apparently he did.