Scars and Nightmares: Chapter Fourteen

Scars and Nightmares: Chapter Fourteen

Characters belong to SM, my story

JPOV

“Alice?” I asked and watched her wipe her tears away.

“Yeah?” She asked back before sitting in the chair Emmett relinquished.

“Did Emmett tell you why I was here?” I questioned her. Emmett could have told her anything, anything from me trying to committ suicide to my whole past that was so similar to Edward's. The tears in her eyes when I cringed at her made me think that she knew.

“Jasper, he only told me his partner tried to kill himself, that he found you.” Alice told me.

Huh? Emmett managed to keep his mouth shut? That was shocking. Looking to the ceiling I contemplated that and if she'd ever know how close Edward and I really were, even if it was just by that psychotic man.

When I looked back at her she'd arranged cards on the hospital tray on one side and the crayons and pad of paper on the other. Did she really expect me to color? That was stupid, I was a grown man. What the hell did I need that for?

Dealing out the cards Alice asked “Do you know how to play this game?” Looking down at the cards I wondered what in hell cards were those.

“Uh, no. Never seen those before in my life.” I answered her.

“These are Phase Ten cards, so ten phases to win.” She explained.

“Um, Alice, just how long is the game going to take?” I didn't know if I could concentrate on something that long right now.

“It'll be a while, since we aren't playing in teams. Are you really telling me you have somewhere else to be?” Alice asked. Yeah, not here. I wanted to be dead, remember? I didn't say that though, I just shook my head and let her explain the rules.

Once we started playing Alice wouldn't stop talking, she talked incessantly about the most mundane, boring things I'd ever heard. Why was she torturing me this way? My body and my mind started to relax under the nothingness of those things. They weren't important, so I could finally let go, somewhat.

About halfway through playing I realized my hands were no longer idle, that I'd been drawing the entire time. When I looked down at what was on the page before me I gasped. Why the hell would I draw that? I couldn't draw very well, but I knew what was represented there.

Lying down on the bottom of the page was an image of a man, in outline only, hollow, in blue. Above him was another solid figure, in black, mouth open wide, and laughing. Around them was congealed dark, nearly black, blood, blood everywhere. The top of the page had in one corner a large, looming deep red figure, that one was trying to pull the black figure off of me. The other corner had a figure in gold, this one with deep emerald green eyes. That one wasn't trying to pull the black figure from me, it was trying to pull me out from under it and away. It didn't take a genius to figure out who they were or what they all meant.

Alice had stopped speaking when I gasped, but I hadn't realized it. She smiled to herself and grasped my hand. I tried to pull it away, she only held on tighter. “Jasper, that's really good, try to get it all out there and out of you.” What? She was looking down at the paper. Oh. “Can you do another one?” She asked me. I never realized I'd started the first one until it was done.

Shrugging at her I said “Maybe.”

She let go of my hand then and said “Your turn.” Blindly putting a card down I didn't know what I was doing, I didn't think I ever understood the rules to this game and as my mind was clearly elsewhere hadn't been paying attention.

We continued playing the game until I heard Alice whisper “Oh my god.” What? She was looking down at the new paper I'd drawn on. This one had a small figure in it, marked with a J. There was a huge monster standing behind it with a knife in its hand, dripping in blood. I wanted to cry.

Alice looked at me and breathed “Jasper?” She was looking at the paper with tears rolling down her cheeks. “That's why Edward stayed.” She stated, not asking. I nodded at her. “Jasper, I knew something like that happened to you too, it's not hard to spot, but this....”

Her green eyes lifted to mine as she said “You're the one, you're the one he killed for.” I didn't know what to say to her in repsonse.

“Yes, Alice, he's the one I killed for.” Said Edward's similarly melodic, but deeper voice. She spun around on her chair and my head snapped up. “What are you doing here, Alice? What happened to Emmett?”

“I came by to see Jasper, he's Emmett's partner after all. As to why I'm still here, Jasper told Emmett to go back to work.” Alice defended.

Edward's jaw tightened before he said “I'm done with my shift now, so... you can go home now.”

“What if I don't want to?” Alice pouted.

“Go, Alice. You shouldn't be here to begin with.” He commanded.

“Fine, I'll go, but I'm going to go get you some dinner first before I go home, if that's alright.” She told him.

“Okay, Alice, but bring enough back for Jasper and me, I promised him real food. He won't be getting any of that in here.” Edward said and Alice giggled.

Alice picked up her bag that was half empty now and slung it over her shoulder. Before she left my side she whispered “It doesn't have to be this way, look at Edward.” I knew that it didn't, it didn't stop the way I felt.

Edward took the chair Alice was in and glanced at the papers I had drawn. He swallowed hard a few times and took my hand, I didn't even try to pull back from him.

Without even realizing it Alice had made me relax enough to tell her my story, in a way, it was more than Dr. Swan had managed to accomplish.

AN: I'm wondering who actually knows the significance of the colors.