Strange Desire: Chapter Four

Strange Desire Chapter Four

AN: I hope you guys can stick with me and this story, I'm enjoying it. My other story is getting to a difficult part for me so this is a good distraction when I need it.

Okay, so my sister's roommate had me watch Latter Days yesterday. It made me laugh and cry, so I suppose it was a good movie. Definitely not appropriate for children though.

Alright guys this chapter is shorter than my other ones, but it just seemed like it needed to end here.

Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, but obviously not this situation.

EPOV

Dragging my feet out of the elevator and to the front door of our apartment I fumbled with the keys. If someone walked by right now they'd probably think I was drunk. Tired. I was so incredibly tired. Yesterday after that stupid farce of a meeting with Jasper's boss we'd gotten back to the apartment and ate dinner. We didn't get through half of it before I got called into work early. There had been some major accident on the highway involving a jack-knifed eighteen-wheeler and several other vehicles and they needed all the help they could get. When I heard this I could feel the blood drain from my face and I didn't even say goodbye to Jasper, instead opting to rush out the door as fast as possible. So I had worked my ass off trying to stabilize the people that I could and then catch up to the other patients that normally came to the ER.

Stumbling across the threshold of my apartment I decided to grab a sandwich to eat hurriedly before hopping into the shower. The refrigerator was now fully stocked and all the science projects had been thrown out which meant one of two things. It either meant Jasper was happy or agitated, but I was too tired right now to dwell on it.

Covered in blood, sweat and tears, not all of it my own I walked into the bathroom. Removing my clothes I stepped into the shower and let the water run as hot as possible trying to rid myself of the last twenty hours. It didn't take long for me to be soaped up, rinsed off, and getting out. I was afraid if I stayed in there too long I'd fall asleep standing up. My fears were unfounded though. Going straight from the shower to bed naked I laid there and my mind wouldn't shut off. I was so sleepy I couldn't sleep. All I kept seeing were my patients and their family members over and over in my head.

The difficult part of this was I knew at least half of the people were going to die from that accident. They were just injured too badly for anyone to be of any help. When some of the family members finally filtered in I got an earful. They'd ask me why I couldn't save them, but I just couldn't. No one could. Some of them quietly grieved while others shouted at me or one of the other doctors or nurses releasing their fury and grief on us. Normally this sort of stuff didn't bother me, it's one of the things we trained for in school. Toughen up or you won't make it. This time though it got to me.

A couple of the families wouldn't let their loved ones go, they stubbornly clung to the hope that they'd wake up. Of course they never did, they were already gone. The hospital didn't have enough beds for this influx of people, so it halted some of the care others should have gotten. It just wasn't fair. A number of times I'd thought about tattooing my ass with DNR on it, so people would let me the fuck go. I didn't want to be kept alive by a machine if I was never going to be able to get away from it.

Tossing and turning I finally sat up and put my head in my hands frustrated. Getting to my feet I decided to turn some music on, at least maybe I could concentrate on it instead. Lying back down it didn't seem to help at all. Unable to get comfortable and shut my mind down I thought about Jasper and how his parents had died in a car accident so similar to this one. That was probably more of why I couldn't sleep. I felt like I should be able to do more to save them, so that their family members didn't have to feel like he did sometimes.

Staring at the ceiling thinking about Jasper I wondered how long it would be before the bottom dropped out of my world. I wasn't sure how long this would last. He seemed to be entirely too accepting and I was still on edge waiting for him to completely freak out. My heart seemed to be heavy just waiting for it to happen. Stop thinking about that now. Enjoy what you've got while you've got it. Closing my eyes I tried to push those unwelcome thoughts out of my head.

Doing everything possible I could think of to fall asleep and not getting anywhere I sat up again. Running my hands through my hair I decided this was not helping and got up. I needed a distraction from work. Blowing out my breath I walked out of my bedroom and heard noise coming from the kitchen. Jasper must be home. Good.

What I saw took my breath away. He was turned away from me in nothing but jeans, cutting something. The muscles in his back moved each time he made a cut. Silently I walked up to him and put my left arm around him splaying my hand over his stomach and my right hand came over his wrist and hand with the knife, that way if I scared him he would just let it go instead of injuring one of us.

Pressing my lips against his neck Jasper leaned his head back and moaned letting go of the knife in his hand. “Edward...” He breathed before reaching up to grab the back of my head at the same time turning his own. I kissed across his jaw to the corner of his mouth before meeting his mouth fully. Turning in my arms he pulled me closer to him clutching at me as though making sure I was still here. It made my breath catch at the fierceness of the embrace. Then he put his hands on my shoulders and pushed me back to look at my face. “Shouldn't you be sleeping?” He asked me always concerned.

“I couldn't sleep. All I keep seeing is the people from that accident and their families every time I close my eyes.” I answered and watched as his eyes looked away.

“Yeah, I saw that on the news. I knew you wouldn't be back for a long time.” Jasper said before looking back at me his eyes slightly wet and it broke my fucking heart. Choking back my own sobs I held him close to me still seeing those horrific images in my head. Some tears must have escaped anyway because Jasper pushed me away so he could look at my face. His hands reached out and he placed them on my cheeks rubbing those traitorous tears away. I was tired of crying today, I'd had enough. I'd held it in while at work, but as soon as I had gotten away from there I was having a hard time stopping the flow until I got home.

“Jasper, please... please make me forget. I want to forget.” I pleaded with him. Tilting his head to the side thinking he seemed to come to a decision and dragged me away from the kitchen into his bedroom. Kissing me gently as though he thought I might break, he pushed me down on the bed. At this point I might break, I wasn't entirely sure.

Jasper was still standing with his jeans on looking at me. He looked sad and I wondered how much that accident had affected his own mood, how much it reminded him of his own parents. Reaching out a hand to him I pulled him beside me, so we were lying side by side facing each other. Placing my hand on his hip I pressed myself closer to him, our bare chests touching. His lips found mine and he sucked my bottom lip into his mouth gently nibbling on it with his teeth. Moaning into his mouth I flipped onto my back pulling him on top of me.

Kneeling between my legs Jasper sat up and removed his jeans slowly. Kicking the ends of them off his feet he just looked at me for a few minutes. I was starting to squirm under the scrutiny. Leaning down he put his hands on the rough stubble of my cheeks and said “Stop that.” Immediately I stopped moving. “Keep your eyes open for me. Watch me make love to you. Forget everything and everyone else. It's just you and me here right now.” Jasper said huskily and my breath quickened.

My hands reached out to his head and pulled him to me. Kissing him I kept my eyes open looking into his darkened blue ones. My breath hitched at the intensity of his gaze even while kissing me back. He pulled away trying to get some air and kissed my neck and shoulders instead. Leaning back away from me he met my eyes before taking in every detail of my body again. This time I didn't move. Instead I did my own inventory on Jasper. He was just muscular enough for me, but not too much. On his stomach he had absolutely no hair, but his chest did. It was blonde and fine and barely visible unless you were up close, but I could feel it. Before I got much further in my assessment he placed his hands on either side of my waist. His fingers trailed up my sides while his thumbs moved up my chest slowly and I put my hands on his arms. Jasper's thumbs eventually made it to my nipples and circled each one before he lowered his head and his tongue did the same. His pink tongue flicked out over my nipples making me gasp. Then I watched as he sucked them between his teeth and I moaned “Jasper...”

Bucking my hips against his I pulled his chest down to mine and ran my hands along his back. One of my hands landed on his ass pushing him closer to me, the other on his head pulling his mouth back to mine. Our mouths barely meeting I said “I love you.” Then his lips touched mine, his warm breath languidly exhaling into my mouth.

He moved his mouth across my jaw to my ear and nipping at it whispered “I love you, too.” Then I could feel his lips on my neck lightly sucking on it and I groaned. That felt good, but I almost wished he'd do it harder. That didn't seem right though at the moment.

The hand I'd placed on his ass moved between us and I wrapped my hands over both our hard cocks without really doing anything. I moved my hand slowly over us, but that was it. Jasper grunted and closed his eyes tilting his head back. I lifted my body off the bed just enough that I could reach his neck. Sucking on the soft skin there I moved over to his Adam's apple and licked it before sucking it between my lips. “Uhh... Edward...” Jasper moaned his eyes still closed.

“Open your eyes for me, Jasper. Please. I need to see you are still here with me.” I pleaded desperately. I'd seen enough people last night and today that would never open their eyes again. Opening those fuck me blue eyes of his he looked down at me before smiling. He had a perfect smile, one that was not crooked like mine.

Shifting down the bed Jasper's head ended up between my legs and raising up on my elbows I watched as he licked my shaft before circling the head of my cock. Fuck. I had to fight to keep my eyes open. The only thing that kept me there was the fact that he was looking up at my face. My feet were now flat on the bed with my knees bent as I waited to see what was coming. He moved his mouth to the less sensitive, but sensitive none the less, skin of my inner thighs. This time he sucked on the skin there sucking it into his mouth with a little more force than he did on my neck. Placing a hand on his head I groaned. Then I watched as he sucked my balls into his mouth and my eyes nearly rolled back into my head. It took everything I had to keep them open. His own eyes looking back at me were the only reason I was able to do so. Jasper sucked my cock into his mouth and I could feel the tip at the back of his throat before he came back up wrapping his tongue around it. He did this a few times driving me crazy before he came back to my own mouth kissing me.

Dipping his head again he grabbed a pillow on his way down. Pushing the pillow under my hips I wondered what he was doing. No one else had ever done that with me. I could feel his tongue flicking over my perineum before sliding down the crack of my ass. He used both hands to pull my cheeks apart before I felt his tongue over my anus. Lifting his head so I could see him he put two fingers in his mouth and sucked on them. Fuck. Then I felt him push one of them into me quickly followed by the second. He pumped his fingers inside me a few times and my hips raised off the pillow wanting him inside me instead. “Please, Jasper... I need to feel you inside me now.” I said breathing heavily with excitement. Removing his fingers from my ass he came back up to me kissing my stomach and chest before reaching over to a drawer and getting out lube and a condom. Rolling the condom over his own erect cock he opened the cap of the lube and I took it from him. Raising a brow at me I just put it in my own hands before running it over his cock. What was left I ran along my own cock before closing the cap.

Jasper leaned back down to me kissing me hard this time, his tongue slipping between my lips to meet mine. At the same time he placed the head of his cock over my anus entering me slowly. Relaxing into him I felt him push inside further. Shifting a bit once he was fully sheathed inside me I was in heaven. He felt so good, so good. He'd never quite gotten this deep before. Jasper lifted one of my legs to wrap around him while he kept his mouth on mine barely letting go except to breathe. My other leg wrapped itself around him and our bodies just rocked against each other slowly. He used one hand behind my back to push me closer to his chest. I wanted to stay like this forever with him inside me. My cock trapped between our bodies didn't appreciate this though. It wanted release yesterday.

Placing my feet back on the bed I put my hands on Jasper's hips and lifted my ass off the pillow. Leaning back he started thrusting his cock in and out of me with his hands on my hips. My ass lifted to meet him as I wrapped my own hand over my cock moving it up and down. Again he pulled one of my legs around him as he continued thrusting inside me. I saw him swallow hard and lick his lips when he looked down at me and what my hand was doing. He was close and leaning down removed my hand from my cock replacing it with his own before saying “Come with me, Edward.” His hand slid over me and I could feel my balls tighten and Jasper thrust harder in my ass. It didn't take long before I came shooting cum on my stomach and his hand. The walls of my ass clenched down tight and Jasper cried out letting go.

Exhausted and sweaty he laid back down on my chest pulling the pillow out from under me at the same time. Then Jasper licked my lips smiling at me before rolling over to throw the condom away. Turning back to me he laid down almost still half on top of me. I reveled in the warmth and weight of him. Neither one of us got up after that. Still covered in sweat and my cum we just let our breathing slow, enjoying our own bubble. Then his hand cupped my cheek and he said “I love you. Now close your eyes and go to sleep.” Closing my eyes this time all I saw were his blue eyes staring at me instead of the horrid memories I hadn't been able to expel from my head.

JPOV

Holding Edward in my arms I watched as he finally floated off into dreamland looking peaceful. He'd looked so sad and tortured when he asked me to make him forget. How could I do anything else? I think I'd probably do just about anything for him. Taking him to my room had been intentional, if he wasn't sleeping in his bed then mine would be better. My hand skimmed his chest lightly going upward to his neck as I placed a kiss there and continued up to his hair. Running my hands through his hair I kissed his closed eyelids barely touching them.

Disentangling myself I had to get up, it was barely past seven o'clock at night. Getting up I went to the bathroom to clean myself up before bringing a warm wet washcloth to Edward. I really hoped this didn't wake him up. He only moaned and moved turning to his side with a smile never opening his eyes. Sighing in relief I pulled my sheets and covers over him and quietly got dressed.

Walking out of my room I went back to the kitchen. The vegetables I'd been cutting still looked okay, which was good because I was fucking hungry. Moving around the kitchen I made dinner for myself, and sat down in the living room with it. Turning on the TV I carefully avoided anything news related and tried to watch anything completely inane. Last night every major station had been talking about that accident. When I saw it I knew that's why Edward had left in a hurry without saying goodbye. He'd done that before, but not very often. It was disconcerting when I saw him turn white while he was on the phone and practically run out the door.

When I saw all those cars and people being taken to the hospital on the news I couldn't help but remember this is how my parents died. I was too young to know the details, but I knew it was something similar to this. I'd been with a babysitter at the time or else I would have been in that car with them, most likely dead as well. Tears came to my eyes when I thought about my parents and how little I knew about them. No one knew, they were the only family members left.

My adoptive parents saw me when I was at a foster home and as soon as my father heard my name and where I'd come from, he had to take me home. Apparently he had taken care of my parents before they passed away and he wanted to do something for them. He couldn't keep them alive, but he could do this. My mother agreed with him. They'd been the best parents I could have, although I still wondered what my biological ones would have been like.

Then I thought about telling my parents about my relationship change with Edward. What would they think? I was sure they wouldn't disown me like his parents did. I was their son though, so they probably wouldn't like it. Inhaling deeply I decided to cross that bridge with Edward later. He might not actually want them to know, for all I knew, after his own parents reaction. We loved each other and that's all that mattered.

Hearing banging in the hallway I got up and looked through the peephole annoyed. Whatever was going on better not wake up Edward. All I could see were boxes out in the hall and the wide open door of the apartment across from us. Someone must be moving into the previously vacant apartment then. I wondered if we'd ever actually meet the new tenants and what they would think of us. I wasn't naïve enough to think that some people wouldn't try to hurt us if they knew we were together.

Ignoring the new neighbors for now I took my plate back to the now fully stocked kitchen and got some more water to drink. It had been my therapy to shut the TV off last night and ignore the real world. Going into the kitchen and not finding anything edible to eat I was irritated and started chucking things out before going to the store. I hated grocery shopping, but I liked to eat, so I had to go. Maybe we could invite the new neighbors for dinner later this week. We needed some more friends and it was hard to cook for just two people anyway.

Sitting back down on the couch I turned the TV station to music and picked up the laptop Edward gave me. Checking my e-mail I again began to wade through my students papers. They still had until tomorrow, but some had sent them early. Most of them weren't that much improved as I expected. A few good ones stood out for me though. It was about fucking time. Then there were a few students that e-mailed me some derogatory things about Edward and me. I suppose they saw us at the school yesterday. All of this was sent so anonymously that they forgot to hide their e-mail address from me, the same one they sent their papers to me with. Fucking inbreeds. What surprised me though is my reaction to it. I didn't give a shit, I was happier than I'd ever been in any other relationship.

Reaching my quota of the day for idiotic students bullshit I closed my account. Putting the computer on the coffee table I settled back on the couch laying down and thinking about my future again. I was certain that I'd at least stay one more year at this job that I hated. I couldn't make enough working for a museum or something like that and I didn't want anything to do with politics. That last part I knew was directly related to Edward's father. So my other choice was writing or maybe even editing, but I'd rather write my own stuff. I had no plans to work this summer this year, so that would help me out with finding time to write.

Closing my eyes I went back to the story I'd had playing in my head for a while until my fingers started to itch, as I could feel the ideas stem from my brain directly to my hands. Sitting back up I grabbed my computer and started typing the words of what would be my first attempt at a real story. I'd written things before, but that was for my own pleasure. When I'd started my current job I stopped writing completely. That's probably why I hated it so much, it took away something I enjoyed. Well, whose fault is that? Oh, shut up. Feeling the words flow through me some stress left my body and I wondered how I hadn't ended up wound even tighter without this outlet for so long.

Writing furiously I hadn't even realized what time it was until my hands felt like they were about to fall off. I had to get it out though, my mind wouldn't shut off until it was out of my head. Sometime around two o'clock in the morning I turned the computer off and went to bed. Removing my clothes first I lay down next to Edward and tried not to disturb him. He must have felt the bed move anyway because he opened his eyes to slits and breathed “Jasper...” before putting a hand on my stomach and placing his head on my chest. One of my hands laid itself on top of his and I kissed his head before finding my own much needed sleep.