Strange Desire: Chapter Sixteen

Strange Desire: Chapter Sixteen

AN: Well, I got a lot of responses to my last chapter. I'm not sure if it was due to the actual story or my author's note, haha. I do find it amazing that some of you didn't think I could bring them out of a fight like that. I was always going to do that part of the story from both points of view, it was just the lemon that I wasn't. Now it's going to be hard to top the last two chapters, I think. I hope I didn't set myself up with that. This chapter wore me out.

I'm ecstatic that I'm some of your's very first slash story. I'm not entirely sure how you'd end up reading mine first out of all the ones out there, but I'm happy you did.

Characters belong to SM

JPOV

Holy crap, I was embarrassed. Edward just stuck his tongue in my mouth and slapped my ass in front of my parents. Why would he do that? The looks on my parent's faces weren't making me feel any better about it. This was it, wasn't it? They were fine when we told them, but seeing it was a whole other thing altogether. Edward was lucky I didn't punch him. If I hadn't already so royally fucked up I probably would have, but I managed to keep it together. I was proud of myself for that.

Recovering first Esme said “I guess you did make up.” Then she shook her head trying not to laugh again and said “Lunch is on the table, we've been waiting for you.” Oh thank god. At least I knew they weren't going to freak out on us.

Would my own biological parents have been so understanding, so accepting? I didn't know. Would I even be with Edward or any other man if they hadn't died? I didn't even know if I would have met Edward otherwise. I sighed inwardly to my unanswered questions, they weren't going to get me anywhere. The questions would probably always stay with me.

We all walked into the dining room and Edward went to take his usual seat across from me. I wouldn't let him. Putting my hand on his arm to stop him I pulled him to the seat next to mine. “Sit next to me, please.” I requested. Edward smiled slightly. If he didn't want to hide anymore and my parents were okay with this, then we weren't hiding it, either one of us.

Sitting down I pulled my chair closer to his and put a hand on his thigh keeping it there during the entire time. Eating with one hand was difficult, but I had to make sure he was real, that he was still with me, that he wouldn't shove me off again.

Carlisle and Esme could clearly see that and smiled at each other often. They at least looked happy we were together. “Okay, boys, we've got some other things we need to get done today. So enjoy yourselves and stay out of trouble.” Esme said. Yeah, right...

My parents left us alone in the house again and I turned to him asking “What do you want to do now?” There wasn't much to do in this small town and it was raining too hard right now to really enjoy being outside.

“I don't know. Watch a movie?” Edward asked.

“Sure. Let's see what my parents have.” I said walking into the den. This room was more comfortable than the living room, but that couch was so old you could barely get out of it. No one could even make out the original color anymore. The couch had always been here, but I couldn't figure out why my mom hadn't had it removed or redone.

Looking through my parents many DVD's Edward picked out a movie. Pulling it out he showed it to me. Why would he want to watch that? Giving him a funny look I asked “Superman? Really?”

Nodding his head he said “Yes, really. That's what I want to watch.”

“Okay...” I said taking it from him. That was an odd movie to pick out of the hundreds that my parents owned. I put the movie in while Edward moved the coffee table away from the couch. Edward sat down leaning his back against the couch and I sat next to him.

Grabbing Edward's hand I held onto it tightly reminding myself that he was still here with me, that I hadn't completely lost him. Kissing his neck I breathed “I love you, I'm sorry I was being an idiot.” I was determined not to fuck everything up again. Edward didn't need anymore doubts that I loved him.

Turning his head towards me he said “I'm sorry, too. I wasn't listening to you.” No fucking kidding? Then he kissed my lips gently sucking on the bottom one. I wanted more, but Edward pulled away and said “I love you too, Jazz. I've never loved anyone more than you.” Me neither.

Smiling at him tentatively I turned my head back to the movie. “Do you remember when we used to watch this as kids?” I asked him. “I think I drove my mom crazy watching it over and over.” I had probably seen this movie hundreds of times, could quote every line.

“Yeah, I remember it.” He said laughing.

“Too bad there aren't any real Supermen in real life.” I sighed. I remembered wanting him to be real, to have saved my parents.

“Oh really? Are you sure about that one, Jazz?” He teased.

Frowning at him in confusion I asked “What are you talking about?”

“I think Emmett might be yours.” He said laughing. My mouth popped open before I slapped his arm lightly. I was really trying not to laugh, Emmett was probably the closest I was going to get to a real life Superman. I wondered what he'd think about that. Knowing him he'd probably pat himself on the back.

“You think he saved me?” I asked Edward.

“No, I don't think it. I know it.” He answered.

“Edward, you saved me too.” I stated quietly. He saved me more than in just a doctor sort of way. He'd saved me from loneliness, from isolation. I knew I wouldn't have had much to do with other people if it wasn't for him.

We ended up lying on the floor finishing up the movie. Edward's head lay on my chest, his arm around my waist. The first time we'd watched this movie was the first time Edward had ever stayed the night here. His parents had been fighting. We'd gone to bed and Edward cried himself to sleep laying with me just like this. I held him just like this. Shit, I held him like this after every fight his parents had. How the hell did I forget that? Gasping I shot up and Edward barely made it out of my way. “What the fuck, Jasper?” He shouted at me.

Looking at him with wide eyes I said softly “I remember.”

“You remember what exactly?” He asked me. You.

Reaching out to him I pulled him back down with me. Then I said “I remember this.” Running my hand through his messy hair I heard his soft sigh.

“Edward?” I asked to see if he was listening.

“Yeah, Jasper, what is it?” He asked warily as though he was still trying to protect himself. Damn it, damn it, damn it. Would he ever completely forgive me? Could we ever glue all the pieces back together again?

“Do you think if I hadn't been in denial and you hadn't been hiding what you are, then we would have been together for a long time already?” I asked him, still confused. Our whole relationship made very little sense to me. I loved him and that was enough, but some answers would be nice.

“I don't know, maybe.” He answered as his hand made its way under my shirt and was stroking my stomach paying more attention to my belly button. Then he scooted his head down my chest so it was right where his hand was. I felt his lips kissing my stomach and his strong tongue licking my belly button. Fuck. A deep growl erupted from my chest at that. Edward moaned at the sound and bit me lightly making the growl that much deeper.

Sitting up I pulled him up with me. I pushed him so his back was leaning against the couch with his legs straight out in front of him. Straddling his legs with my own I placed my elbows on the cushions of the couch behind his head and my hands in his hair. Looking at him I wondered what I'd done to deserve him, I didn't. He was a work of art. One of my hands moved to his face feeling the stubble across his jawline. Keeping it there I leaned down and pressed my lips against his. Edward's hands worked their way under my shirt caressing my back as he kissed me in return. Parting my lips I inhaled his warm breath and felt his tongue against my own, felt the roughness of it. We continued just kissing for a while, pausing only for air. No words were spoken. If I didn't speak and he didn't speak, then we couldn't fuck it up.

Pulling away from him I could see his lips were bruised and swollen, mine probably were too. Both my hands cupped his face, my thumbs caressing his cheeks. Edward pulled my hands away from his face and looked at them, still all cut up. Fuck, I was an idiot. He frowned at them. Shit, shit, shit. Was that only going to remind him of yesterday? I half expected for him to throw me off him. He didn't. Edward brought my hands to his lips and kissed each bruised knuckle. My heart only felt like it grew that much bigger letting him inside. When he was done Edward's green eyes met mine as he said “I love you.”

Throwing my arms around his neck I breathed in his ear “I love you too, so much.” Nibbling his ear first I made my way down his neck with open mouthed kisses. Edward tried tugging my shirt up. I pushed him back to the floor and removed it for him. His eyes darkened and burned bright as his hand reached out to touch my chest. He touched nearly every part of me he could see, leaving a trail of fire.

Moving his hand away from me I lowered my body so that I was between his legs and my mouth was poised right over his zipper. Blowing warm breath over him I moved myself upwards. My nose pushed his shirt up as my lips and tongue followed, up his happy trail and between his pecs. He groaned at me probably unhappy that I didn't go lower. Edward sat up a little so I could pull his shirt off as well, throwing it somewhere behind me.

Pushing him down again I kissed his lips, my hands running along his sides. Edward had his legs wrapped around mine bucking up against me seeking relief, as much as he could get as we still had pants on. His hands were still caressing my back as we continued kissing.

“Oh.” I heard my mom's voice. Edward and I stopped, completely still. All the sound left the room. When did she come home? I didn't hear her. Thank god we hadn't gotten to our pants.

Looking up at her, my face and neck bright red, I noticed both her and my father were standing there. Edward tilted his back to look at them too and whispered “Fuck.” I was probably the only one that heard it.

“Um... I'll be right back. I want to show you boys something.” My mom said pulling my dad away along with her.

Groaning I rolled off Edward and looked for my shirt. It wasn't as though they hadn't seen us without shirts on before, but after that I felt like I needed more cover, more protection. With our shirts on we sat next to each against the couch. I was still as horny as hell, as though getting caught like that made it worse. Edward started laughing and I shot him a look. “What the fuck is so funny?” I snapped at him making an attempt to hold in my anger, my anger at getting caught, my anger at not being able to finish what we started.

Edward only laughed harder at the look on my face. “What's so funny? Jasper, do you realize we just got caught by our parents making out like a couple of teenagers? It's something that should have happened when we were teenagers and never did. I never thought that would happen as that's backwards from where we are in our relationship.” I couldn't help but laugh too, that is, until my mom and dad walked back into the room and my face turned red in embarrassment again. Any longer and they would have caught us doing more than making out.

My parents sat down on the old, decrepit couch. My mom had a thick book in her hand as she said “I wanted to show you something.” I'd never seen that book before in my life, not even in all my meanderings around the house.

My dad rolled his eyes at her saying “I doubt they want to look at pictures, Esme.”

“I know they probably don't want too, but they need to see them. Maybe it would address some of their confusion.” She argued. What the fuck was she talking about? I turned to Edward to ask him about it, but he looked just as confounded as I felt. “Go ahead, look.” My mom said handing the book over.

Opening it there were many pages filled with pictures. The entire book only had pictures of Edward and I, no one and nothing else. The book started with us as children, going all the way up to now. I wasn't even sure how or when they'd gotten some of these. None of them were posed. In all of them neither one of us was aware our picture was being taken. Some of them were recent. The book showed our love for each other chronologically. It showed my love for Edward, showed that I'd always loved him, always.

The thing that stood out the most were the intimate touches, ironically, not by Edward, but by me. Holy fucking shit, how had I not noticed that? Damn it, damn it, damn it. Looking through it I saw as we got older Edward hung back more from me, but I didn't, it was almost like I was taking his place there. There were a few pictures where he was touching me intimately or looking at me like someone that was in love or jealous, but only when I wasn't paying attention to him.

I think I looked through that book ten times in shock that our love had been recorded like that and we weren't even aware of it. If we had seen these before now would it have answered a lot of our questions? Fuck, fuck, fuck. My anger was starting to rise again, I could feel it coming. I didn't want it to, but it was. Edward looked over at me, he must have seen it happening. Closing the book and putting it to the side Edward wrapped his arms around me and kissed my lips. “Jasper, it doesn't matter. We are together now, it doesn't matter.” Then he said “I love you.”

Swallowing my anger back I said “I love you, too.” I sighed in relief. I didn't lose my temper this time. Edward made sure of it. I wasn't sure my relationship with him or my parents could handle another outburst like yesterday's right now.

Hearing sniffling behind me I turned to see my mom wiping tears away from her eyes. What was she crying over? “Mom? Why are you crying?” I asked her.

“I'm just so happy. W... I've been waiting for my boys to realize what I've known for a long time.” She answered. Yeah, why didn't she help us along there then? No. No, she couldn't have. I'd already thought other people had influenced this relationship, if she'd interfered, then I'd know it was fact.

My dad got out of the couch carefully and came over to help my mom out of it. He said “I think we need to give them a little time, Esme.” Nodding her head she let him help her up.

“Mom, why do we still have this couch?” I asked her. The thing really needed to go.

“You don't remember?” She asked me. Fuck, what else was I forgetting?

Shaking my head no I asked “Should I?”

Looking at me sadly she answered “It came from your parent's house, it was theirs.”

Sucking in a breath I looked at it again. I didn't remember this monstrosity, then again it probably wasn't that ugly and abused when my parents had it. Running my hand along the itchy fabric I said “Mom, you don't have to keep this. I don't even remember it.” She nodded at me once and walked out of the room.

“Jasper, are you okay?” Edward asked me concerned.

Leaning into his shoulder I sighed and said “Yeah.” I was as okay as I was going to be. My mom loved me enough to hold onto this for me?

We stayed like that, not speaking for a while. I didn't know where Edward's thoughts were, but mine swirled around my biological parents and around how the hell Edward and I hadn't figured out that we liked each other before now. No, how the hell had I not figure out I liked him? He knew he liked me. I knew I was good at pretending, but damn. Apparently I was good enough to pretend things about myself to myself.

“Boys?” My mom called quietly from the doorway. Looking up at her she said “Dinner's ready, if you want it.” I wasn't sure that I did, but I got up anyway. Edward sat next to me again without me asking him to, which made me happy.

The dinner was good, the conversation light, until my mom blurted out “Are you going to move?” What the fuck was she talking about? Move? Why the hell would we move? I didn't want to move. I liked where we lived now. Where did she want us to move to? Turning to look at Edward to see if he knew what she was getting at I saw him frowning at her. My dad had the same expression on his face.

“Mom, what are you talking about? Why would we move?” I asked her confused, as I always seemed to be now.

“Well... you can't get married in Washington.” She stated as though that answered the question. Married? Who said anything about getting married? Did either one of us ever mention it? No, I didn't think so. Fuck, we'd only been together a couple of months. Women.

All three of the rest of us of the male gender had our mouths hanging open, dumbfounded. At least I knew the rest of us were on the same page. I was irritated. Pulling myself together I said “I don't want to move.” I hoped Edward would be right along with me there.

He blinked a couple of times before saying “I don't want to move either.”

“But don't you want to get married?” She asked us, pushing. I wasn't sure either of us knew the answer to that one.

My father rescued us from this conversation, thank god, as he said “Esme, even if they moved and got married where it was legal as soon as they left that state their marriage wouldn't be recognized anymore. There is no point in pushing the issue.” Was that true? I didn't know.

My mom sighed and said “I just want my boys to be happy.” Since when did marriage equal happiness? Sure, my parents were happy, but Edward's clearly weren't. I doubted he even saw marriage as a good thing. Did it make a difference? I wanted to be with Edward, period. I didn't need a piece of paper to tell me we belonged to each other, I knew we did.

We eventually got the topic of conversation back to more normal, less life-altering things. Shit, what did they want from me? I'd just come out to them yesterday. Wasn't that enough for now?

Helping clear the table my mom was at the sink washing dishes. I saw her surreptiously wipe her eyes. What was she crying for now? Maybe she wasn't as okay with this as she made out to be. “Mom, why are you crying?”

She was still turned away from me when she said “I'm not crying.” Yeah, sure you aren't.

My temper started to rise again, but before I could say anything else Edward spoke up and said “Yes, you are. What's wrong?”

Turning around, her eyes still had tears in them as she said “Now I won't have grandchildren.” Laughter bubbled up in my chest, I couldn't contain it. I laughed so hard my sides hurt. Edward gave me a reproving look which only made the laughter worse. “Why are you laughing?” My mom asked me looking hurt.

Taking deep breaths I tried to get my laughter under control. She was crying over it and I was laughing, that probably wasn't very nice, but I couldn't help it. Did she realize that neither I, nor Edward, was their flesh and blood child?

Finally calmed down I said “Mom, even if we were with a woman that doesn't mean we'd have children.” That was preposterous.

She looked befuddled as she said “Of course you would.”

Shaking my head no I stated “You didn't.”

Her mouth popped open and her eyes got wide as the lightbulb went off in her head, she said “Oh.”

“Yeah, oh. I'm your adopted child, not your biological one. Edward is your child, in a way, even though you didn't adopt him. Again, he's not your biological son.” I said explaining the obvious.

My mom wiped the tears from her eyes and smiled at me and Edward. She said “You're right. Both of you are my sons.” I sighed in relief. I wasn't sure I wanted kids, or that Edward wanted them, but this was ludicrous. Why did she think I could handle talking about marriage and kids when I wasn't sure I wanted either one and we'd just come out to them fucking yesterday?

God damn, I'd had enough for one day. I was fucking exhausted. Marriage and kids? Just this morning Edward and I were still not speaking, I wasn't sure he'd speak to me again, or even if we were still together. It was like she wanted us to hurry up already. Couldn't we just enjoy this and not rush it? Why did people always want you to move things faster? It seemed to me like you missed things along the way by doing that.

When we were done Edward and I sat down in the living room with my dad, talking. My mom had gone into the den. She came back carrying that photo book and asked me “Jasper, are you sure you won't mind if I change the couch?”

“No, I don't care.” I answered her. It wouldn't bring my parents back and as I didn't remember it as even belonging to them I didn't know why it mattered.

“Okay, if you're sure.” She said and sat down with us. Then she rattled off “I think I'll keep the frame of it though, they don't make them that strong anymore.” Yeah, whatever, I didn't care.

Edward and my dad talked about some interesting cases they'd had lately while my mom looked through the photo album. I didn't participate in the conversation, choosing instead to just listen. Fuck, I was tired.

My mind wouldn't let go of something though, it played over and over in my head. Where the hell had those pictures come from? Some of them were from when we were in Seattle and I knew my parents weren't there at those times. One of them had us kissing, it was the first time I'd kissed Edward in public on the street. “Mom?” I asked.

“Yes, honey?” She asked back.

“Where did those pictures come from?” I questioned her. Gulping at the question her eyes diverted to my dad, then Edward. What the fuck was going on?

Taking a deep breath my mom said “I can't tell you that.” The explosion was coming, I could feel it. I'd held it in for so long that I lashed out, there was no way in hell that anyone was going to stop it this time.

“What the fuck? Why can't you tell me?” Standing up I shouted at her. There was a definite lack of privacy here and had been for a long time. I wanted answers. My chest was heaving and I was doing everything in my power to stay in that room, to not run. My patience for the day had finally run out. Although I think I still would have been angry or at least suspicious under normal circumstances about this. Rounding on Edward I shouted “Did you know about this?” The surprise on his face was enough answer for me. At least I wasn't mad at him.

“Jasper, honey, please sit down.” My mom petitoned me. I was in no mood to sit down. Touching my hand Edward swiped his finger across my knuckles, the slight sting reminding me of my outburst yesterday, it was that that made me sit down. My mother had nothing to do with it. “Edward doesn't have anything to do with this. He didn't know either. Just trust me when I tell you I can't tell you.” She said. What the fuck was she hiding? Now I was dying with curiosity. “Don't go looking for the answer either, please. I'm begging you, both of you, don't look for it.” Fuck, would we ever find the answer? I was more than frustrated.

Huffing I said “Fine. I'm going to bed.”

Leaving them I went up the stairs to my old room. I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and looked in the mirror half expecting to find my hair had turned completely white after the stress of the last two days. It hadn't, it was still as blonde as ever.

Stripping off my clothes I got under the covers and put my arm over my eyes. Shit, shit, shit. What the hell was going on? Too much was going on. I really wanted to go home where life was less complicated. This trip was wearing on me.

Edward came in not long afterward. I could hear him moving about, but I was too fucking exhausted to talk to him right this second. He flicked the light off and got into bed beside me. Moving my arm from over my eyes I asked “Did I miss anything else?”

Snorting at me he said “No, I think you ended the conversation.” Good.

My head was swimming with too many thoughts, they only added to my confusion. Fuck, when was my mind going to be normal again? Why would my mom even ask us about marriage and kids knowing I was not completely myself? I was right, she was impatient for things I wasn't sure I even wanted and I had no idea what Edward thought about those things either.

Closing my eyes I sighed. The next thing I felt were Edward's lips kissing my eyelids. My eyes fluttered open and I saw Edward's green ones in the dark looking at me in concern. What the fuck for? “Are you okay, Jasper?” He asked me. No, I was not fucking okay, but I'd get over it.

“No. Aren't you a little freaked out about those pictures?” I questioned him.

Smiling at me he kissed my lips before saying “No, I'm not.”

“I am, why aren't you?” I asked. Someone had been following us around our entire lives with a camera and we didn't even have a fucking clue.

Chuckling at me he hummed happily, giving me his crooked grin. What was he so happy for? Fuck, maybe if my mind was all there I could figure this out for myself. “Jasper, those pictures... we might not be able to go looking into it, but I'm, without a doubt, positive that my mother had something to do with them.” He told me. Gasping at him I knew his words rang true, that he was exactly right. That was heady information. That meant his mother still cared. But if she cared, then why hadn't she tried to contact Edward in some way? That was a thought for another day, I was too tired to dwell on it now.

Pulling Edward into my arms I fell asleep, tired and exhausted. The absurdity of my entire day had finally worn me down, taken its toll on me. It led me down the path of crazy dreams.

Edward and I were teenagers and together as a couple, just not publicly. One day we skipped class together to make-out in Edward's car. We got detention for skipping, but when Edward's dad asked the principal what we'd skipped class for I knew that was the end. His dad looked at me full of hatred. Yanking Edward down the hall with him he was yelling at him “You aren't a fag. No son of mine will be a fucking fag.”

Running down the hallway after them I shouted out “Edward?”

Edward's dad rounded on me and shot his fist out punching me in the face. His gaze was murderous when he said “Don't talk my son again. Don't come near us or I will take you out. You might be a fag, but my son isn't.” Then he accused “You made him want you, he wasn't a fag until he met you.” Every single time he said fag, he spit the word out.

Edward kept his head bowed and mumbled “I'm sorry.” His father had taken away every ounce of confidence he'd ever had. I was certain his dad would beat him when he got home.

I didn't see Edward for months or hear from him. I wondered what happened to him, but as this was a small town, it didn't take long to find out. The whole town knew about us, about what happened. Edward's dad decided to send him to some rehabilitation camp, to 'de-gay' him. Even in my dreams I laughed at that. That was the most moronic thing I'd ever heard of.

Most of the kids at school liked the gossip, and ridiculed me for it. I didn't care, they weren't worth my time. I moped around missing Edward.

Then finally, finally, I saw him walking down the hall. My heart squeezed tight when I saw him, he looked pissed off. “Edward?” I called out.

Looking at me for the first time since that day he said loudly so everyone could hear “Don't talk to me ever again, Jasper.” His voice was angry.

“But...” I was trying to hold myself together, to not fall apart. I reached out to him. We were attracting an audience.

“Jasper, don't touch me either.” Edward said menancingly. Then he put his hand on my shoulder and shoved me into the locker behind me, his hand took the brunt of the shove though. Leaning closer to me his eyes burned and I was sure everyone else thought he was threatening me. He wasn't. His mouth close to my ear he said “I still love you, Jazz. Those psychos didn't take that away from me. Please tell me you can handle this. If my father finds out about us again he'll send me away, permanently.” I nodded my head imperceptibly and felt his lips barely brush my neck before he walked away.

The rest of high school went like this. To the outside we were mortal enemies. In our private lives we were even closer than we had been before.

On Edward's eighteenth birthday he left home to come live at my house where he would be loved, accepted. We had planned this out beforehand. His father was livid.

Showing up at the door his dad was shouting at him “Go back home where you belong. You don't belong with this fag, you aren't a fag.”

Edward laughed in his face. “I AM a fag, and I'm not going home. I'm eighteen now, I can do what I want.” He defended, shouting right back at him.

“You won't be able to go to college without my help.” His father argued. Yeah, in my dream we'd already thought about this.

“Yes, I will. Now get the fuck out of my life. You won't accept me for who I am, so just stay the fuck out of it.” Edward was shaking with anger.

Edward's father turned his fury onto me and lunging at me knocked me to the floor. He was punching me in the face and shouting “I told you that you'd pay for this. You took my son away, you had no right.”

I could feel the warmth and wetness of blood drip from the corner of my mouth as Edward was shouting at me “Jasper?” His voice was getting louder. Edward's dad had me pinned down, I couldn't move. Struggling against him Edward's voice was even louder as he said “Jasper! Fuck, wake up, Jasper.”

Snapping my eyes open it took me a minute to realize where I was, that that had just been a bad dream. Edward was on top of me holding my arms down. The warmth and wetness that I'd felt and thought was blood in my dream were my tears. The dream seemed so real, as though it actually happened. It could have easily, but I was happy our life together hadn't turned out like that.

“Are you okay?” Edward asked me finally letting my arms go. I nodded my head. Shit, that dream had probably taken only a few seconds, not the months it felt like. His hand reached out to touch my face. One of his fingers touched the tears on my cheek and he brought it to his lips. Then he leaned down and licked my lips removing any remaining tears before kissing me. I could taste the saltiness. Why the fuck would I dream that? What I did know is that we were still together, still loved each other, even in that dream. No one could take that away from us.

Wrapping my arms around him I pulled him closer to me. “Why were you holding me down?” I asked him.

“Jazz, you were thrashing about so much I thought you were going to hurt yourself or me. Or at the very least dump one of us out of bed.” Edward explained. “What were you dreaming about anyway?” He questioned me. When I got through telling him everything in my dream he started laughing. Every movement of his laughter made me aware that we were both completely naked. “Oh my god, if my dad knew a place like that existed he probably would have sent me there.” He said still laughing. I could feel myself get harder.

“You mean those are real places?” I queried. I thought I'd made that up in my dream, maybe I'd heard it somewhere before.

“Yes, Jasper, those are real places.” He answered sighing. Fuck, I was glad no one had sent him to one of those. Then he burst out with “My father is an asshole.”

“What?” I asked him thrown for a loop.

“You heard me. He's an asshole.” He replied. Yeah, I knew that, but where was he going with this?

“No argument there, but is there a reason you are mentioning this now?” I questioned.

“Yeah. Your mom.” He stated. Fuck, I was going to murder him if he didn't just fucking tell me.

“Yeah, and?” He'd better hurry up and tell me or I would throw his ass onto the floor.

“Jasper, I don't want any children.” He said flatly. Okay... This time I didn't ask him why or push it, he'd tell me on his own without my prompting if I left him to it. If I asked him he'd only become defensive, I knew this. I was pleased with myself for waiting for his answer like my old self would have. Sitting up still straddling my body he closed his eyes and spoke softly “I don't want to end up being like my father.”

Reaching up to his face I placed my hand there and waited until he opened his eyes. I wanted him to look at me when I said this. Opening his eyes I could see the green of them in the dim light as the sun was starting to rise. “Edward... if you don't want children, then we won't have any. All I want is to be with you. But... I don't think you'd be anything like your father. You wouldn't be like him in any way, you would know better.”

Sighing he said “Thank you. One day I might change my mind, but not right now.” He sounded so sad that I couldn't think of anything else to do except comfort him. He needed me, I needed him. My hand on his face moved to the back of his head and threaded through his messy hair. Pulling his head down to mine I captured his soft lips with my own, they were a nice contrast to the hardness of his chest against me. My tongue slipped past his lips and explored every inch of his mouth, sliding along the roof of his mouth, his teeth, his cheeks, finally tangling with his tongue. He let out a long exhale and pulled away from me. Kissing my lips gently Edward breathed “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” I replied, his green eyes meeting mine. How many times had we told each other we loved each other today? It was almost as if we weren't sure the other one believed us. I knew he loved me, deep down nothing would ever convince me otherwise. Did he know I loved him the same way? Sometimes I didn't think he did, especially not after his reaction to me earlier.

Lowering his head Edward kissed my neck sucking gently as he shifted his hips so our hard cocks brushed together. I tilted my head back to give him better access. He licked my Adam's apple before sucking it between his lips. I growled at him.

Edward moved his lips down to my shoulders, but I pushed him back. Looking up at me in bewilderment he opened his mouth to speak. Before he could say anything I placed my hands on his shoulders and scooted my body down his, he was still above me. He lifted a little more weight off me so I could slide easily beneath him. My lips kissed his neck and made their way down to his shoulders. Licking down his chest I could feel the smooth skin against the hard muscle, taste the slight saltiness of his skin. Flicking my tongue over his nipple first I then bit down, hard. Edward jerked and grunted above me.

Lowering my hands to his waist I slid further down his body kissing along the way. His body was gorgeous, it should be worshipped. Just as I was his, he was mine.

The hair of his happy trail tickled my face as I worked lower and lower. Finally, finally, I was at his cock, right where I wanted to be. The tip was glistening with his liquid. Darting my tongue out I lapped it up and licked my lips, he tasted good. I kissed the head of his cock before swirling it lightly and taking just the tip in. Edward moaned at that and I pressed my tongue against the underneath side of his head right below its ring. “Fuck... Jasper.”

Taking all of him into my mouth slowly I remembered to breathe. I waited a second as I built up saliva in my mouth to make him slick. Putting my hands on his hips I squeezed tight encouraging him to fuck my mouth. Edward groaned in relief as he started to fuck my mouth. I took him down as far as he could go, swallowing around him as he hit the back of my throat.

While he was still thrusting into my mouth I placed my right hand underneath him and spreading two fingers wide on either side of his cock I shoved those in my mouth too. I could feel his wet rigid cock between my fingers. Edward looked down to see what I was doing, meeting my gaze. I'd been watching his body as his muscles contracted with every thrust of his hips.

Removing my fingers from my mouth I let my lips completely close around him again creating a tight suction. Sliding my wet fingers between his ass checks I pushed one in his anus feeling it clamp down around me before Edward relaxed the tense muscles. Pushing the other one inside I tried to time my fingers thrusting with his cock's thrusts. As he sped up I hummed and swallowed around him one last time as he hit the back of my throat. His balls were tight against my lips as he shot his load down my throat and I drank it down.

Legs trembling above me from that position he slowly rolled over onto his back. “Fuck... Jazz... that was... fuck...” He could barely get those words out, as he breathed heavily. That made me smile. Positioning myself between his legs I kissed the head of his softened cock before I kissed his mouth again. He looked too tired to move.

Damn, I was as hard as a rock though. Finding the lube I decided I was going to have to take care of myself. Opening the bottle I was about to pour the lube directly over my cock until Edward's hand shot out and gripped my wrist. “What the fuck do you think you're doing?” He asked perturbed.

“What does it look like I'm doing?” I snapped in annoyance. Yep, there was my temper again, just waiting to be released.

“No.” He said, the word almost slurred.

“Why not?” What the hell was I supposed to be doing then?

“Please... Jasper...” He breathed. Please what? I tried to wait patiently for him to tell me what he wanted. “Need... feel... inside...” Duh, Jasper. You are stupid sometimes, you know that? Yeah, yeah.

Reaching down to the bag that was still beside our bed I grabbed a condom and came back to Edward's side. Rolling the condom down my rigid length first I picked up the bottle of lube and poured it over my cock this time. Running my hand down I spread the lube down it and used what was left to caress Edward's hole pushing my fingers in one more time. Between his legs now I pressed my lips against his one more time before spreading his legs wide, spreading them open for me. Picking up his hips the tip of my cock slowly pushed into his ass and I groaned wanting more of him. Pushing further into him I felt the tight heat surround my cock. I knew I wouldn't last long as I thrust into him repeatedly. He felt too good and I had already been too turned on. The muscles in my stomach clenched as my cock pulsed releasing my cum into the condom. Collapsing on top of Edward, both of us sweaty, I kissed his lips languidly. We stayed like that as the sun rose a little higher in the sky.

We showered and got dressed, the house was completely silent. I could hear each tick of the clock announcing every passing second. I wanted to throw the damn thing out the fucking window.

My mom was going to be dissappointed that Edward didn't want children, but if that's what he wanted, then I'd respect it. It's not like it'd be easy for us to adopt one anyway, I was already aware of that fact.

“Edward, can we get out of here, at least for a little while?” I asked him. Technically I could leave without him, but I wanted him to go with me. This house felt like it was closing in on me. Too many things had gone on here and I was starting to feel like I couldn't breathe. My parents wouldn't be up for hours as it was Sunday and they always slept in, they wouldn't miss us.

“Yeah, Jasper. Where do you want to go?” He questioned me.

“How about the diner?” It was the only place open this early in this small town and also the only restaurant.

“Alright, let's go.” He said heading out the front door with me in tow.

Taking a table by the window of the diner we waited on someone to take our order. There were a few people here, but not many. A strong, almost overpowering, smell of cigarette smoke hit my nose. I tried not to choke on it. Looking around I wondered who was smoking, since you couldn't actually smoke in here. That's when I noticed our waitress standing in front of us, she smelled like smoke.

“What can I do for ya, fellas?” She asked in a raspy smoker's voice. When I looked up at her face I could tell she looked older than she was from the smoking, her hair had been doused in peroxide.

I heard her take a sharp intake of breath before she asked in surprise “Jasper?”

“Yeah. Do I know you...” I glanced at her chest to see the nametag there “Molly?”

“You sure as hell better.” She said huffing. Turning to Edward in question to see if he knew who she was I noticed his jaw was tight and the hand that was on the table was clenched.

“I'm sorry, but I don't remember.” I told her.

Blowing out her breath she said “We went to prom together.” Did we? I didn't recognize this woman, at all. I also had a strict 'I don't date smokers rule', that I never broke for anyone, so that seemed impossible unless she started later. If that was the case then she had to be smoking something like three packs a day. She had not aged well.

“Oh, so what have you been up to?” I asked her trying to be polite. It was probably pretty damn rude to admit to someone you didn't remember them when you fucked them. Shit, was I drunk when I did that? No, but I was pretty damn angry because Edward left me there to, in my mind, fuck Bella. Jealousy even back then Jasper, what kind of planet of denial were you living on? Oh, shut up.

“Married, divorced, ex in prison, three brats.” She ticked off. Fuck, what a life! “What about you? Are you married?” She asked placing her hand on my shoulder running it down my arm, I assumed, in an attempt to flirt. I tried not to shudder on the outside, even though my insides were.

“No, we aren't married.” I answered her hoping she'd catch onto the 'we' of my statement. She didn't.

Barely sparing Edward a glance she said “Aren't you guys like brothers or something?” Edward I could tell was mad when she called us brothers. I wanted to laugh at the or something.

“No, we aren't brothers.” Then I placed my hand over his and repeated “We aren't brothers.”

Looking back and forth between us she hissed “You're together?” I nodded my head, now she got it. She started laughing and said “Jasper, you aren't gay.”

“Never said I was.” I snapped at her. Jesus, what difference did it make?

She crossed her arms under her breasts pushing them up as she leaned down to my face. I had to turn away so I wouldn't choke on her smell. “As soon as you're done fooling around with this farce, call me.” No way in hell was I ever going to do that. Maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to wear rings to get people like this viper off our backs, then again some people just found that more of a challenge. Shaking my head to myself I decided no, that wasn't the right reason to wear them.

“Molly?” Her manager shouted at her, thank god. “Get a move on and take their order, stop scaring off the customers.” She grimaced and took out her pad and pencil to get our orders.

Turning to Edward I saw his eyes were narrowed looking at her as she walked away. I said “Please tell me she wasn't like that in high school.”

Snorting at me he said “No, she wasn't like that. I actually used to be jealous of her.”

My brows shooting up I asked “Why?” I couldn't imagine anyone being jealous of... that.

“She had you and I didn't. Why else?” He asked as though he was stating the obvious.

“She didn't have me. You did, I just didn't realize it.” I said and squeezed his hand. The rest of our meal went by in relative silence. Fortunately the diner started to get more of an influx of customers, so Molly couldn't give us too much attention.

Before we left though she slid her number on the table, right in front of Edward. She didn't have any shame, none at all. “Call me when you come to your senses.” Yeah right, not in a fucking million years would that happen. Then she ran her hand in my hair. Great, now I'd have to wash it again. It was going to smell like cigarette smoke.

Edward had finally had enough and stood up seething. His voice was low and angry as he said “Get your fucking hand out of his hair. He doesn't belong to you.” She looked at him stunned and unmoving. “Did you hear what I said? Remove your hand.” He looked menacing. I guess she didn't move it fast enough as he put his hand around her wrist forcibly removing her hand. I wasn't even sure how long the confrontation lasted, but I think only a few seconds. Holy shit, when did he become that jealous?

Letting go of her hand he grabbed mine and pulled me towards the door. Pausing at the door he looked at her to make sure she was watching and fisted both his hands in my hair and pressed his lips to mine. The diner went completely still, silent. Pulling away from me he repeated the same words he'd told me in the shower just yesterday quietly “You belong to me.”

Then he opened the door for me and as we walked out I could hear the sound of conversation pick up. I laughed to myself, Edward certainly gave this tiny town something to gossip about.

AN: I will assume if you are reading slash then you probably know camps like the one Jasper dreamt Edward went to exist. One of my friends actually volunteered himself for that when we were in college. I had to ask him why he would do something like that since his family didn't care one way or the other. His response to me was that he didn't want to be gay. It didn't make a difference. The only thing that came of that was before he went he just thought he was probably gay, when he got out he knew he was definitely gay.