Chapter Two
AN: Below are some conversations between Bella and Edward. They pretty much come out of my own life. I've had them with some of my gay/bi male friends, just not all the same one.
There is a lot of background story to this chapter, hope you don't mind. I can't stand reading stories completely about frivolous sex. If I don't give a shit about the characters it makes it difficult to read.
The continuation of this is only because it was requested by a few people. I'll continue it every now and then I suppose as the mood strikes. I won't guarantee the chapters will be as long as these two, nor do I have plans on whose point of view I will pick most often.
Characters belong to SM, although I'm sure she wouldn't approve of what I'm doing to them.
EPOV
Attempting to sleep in late today was barely working. I needed sleep before trying to work a night-shift. Tossing in my bed I decided to fuck it. I wasn't sleeping anyway. Getting up I pulled on some track pants and decided to take a run, maybe if I made myself tired enough I'd actually be able to get a few minutes sleep when I got back.
Outside it was misting a little bit, but it wasn't a full downpour so I took off and ran for several miles. I had to clear my head. That's why I wasn't sleeping. All I could think about was Jasper. Fuck. This was getting me nowhere. Living with him was my own personal heaven and hell. I loved him, no; I was in love with him and had been before I'd ever moved into his parent's house. That was the problem. I was in love with him and he didn't even know, had no idea I was into guys at all. Whose fault is that, idiot? Should I tell him now after all these years? No, I wasn't about to tell him that I loved him. He'd run screaming in the other direction just like my parents did. You could tell him that you are into men and women though; surely he could handle that much.
Stopping at a crosswalk I closed my eyes and sighed. I didn't even know if he could handle that either, it's one of the reasons I hadn't told him. Maybe I should just wait until I move out. I'd been thinking about separating myself from Jasper for a while now. It just couldn't be healthy to pine after someone who couldn't return the same things I wanted. Eventually turning around going back the same way I decided that I'd wait to tell him after I moved out. Coward. Oh, shut the fuck up.
The run didn't help me relax any though, if anything it just made me wish Jasper was home and not at work so we could do something together. Even if we weren't in a sexual relationship, he still felt like my other half. He was one of the reasons I wasn't in a relationship with anyone. I didn't need it. That was part of the problem. He filled too many holes in my life that no one else was going to be able to replace. No one else could handle being with me. They thought they could in theory, but in reality they just couldn't handle me being gone so much of the time. I wasn't willing to give it up; unlike Jasper I actually loved my job most of the time. Man, I wish he'd find a new one or start writing like he wanted to. This job was slowly sucking the soul out of him. It hurt me to watch it.
Taking a quick shower to get the rain and sweat off my skin I rubbed a quick one out thinking about Jasper, of course. Damn it. I needed to stop that. This was going to kill me one day if I didn't stop. No other guy had made me want to be with them for more than sex, but then again if Jasper wasn't around would I have been more willing to look for more, to crave it?
I was not sure when exactly I fell in love with Jasper, sometime around twelve or so, I think. It scared the shit out of me. Boys weren't supposed to like boys and I still liked girls, so what the hell did that mean? When my parents caught me watching gay porn at fourteen I still wasn't honest with myself at that point in time. Jasper's parents knew what happened, but they didn't know anything more than that. I didn’t come out of the closet until I was sixteen.
Remembering that day very well I went and lay back down on my bed trying to sleep again. Agitated I paced Bella's bedroom floor wearing track marks in it. Apparently I'd been repeatedly raking my hands through my hair because Bella got up from the bed and pulled them down from me saying "Stop, stop. Spit it out. What's on your mind?"
Swallowing heavily a few times I finally croaked out "Bella, do you promise to be my friend no matter what I say now?"
Cocking her head to the side she said "Okay, Edward. Now come on, what's eating you up?"
Letting out a deep breath I told her "I think I'm bi. No, I don't think it. I know it."
She looked at me with her eyes wide and sat down heavily on the bed before bursting into laughter. What the fuck? She was fucking laughing at me. This wasn't easy to say and now she was laughing at me. I wanted to slam my fist into the wall.
"Why are you laughing?" I questioned her harshly. She held up one hand telling me to wait while the other was over her chest. Clearly she was having trouble breathing.
After about ten minutes of this she calmed down enough to hold her hand out to me and pulled me down to the bed. Sitting next to her still with her hand in my mine she said "I already knew that. I've known that since junior high, Edward."
"What? What do you mean you knew? Why wouldn't you tell me?" I asked her in a panic now. Who else knew then?
"Why wouldn't I tell you?" She raised an eyebrow at me. "If that's not something you are willing to admit to yourself, who am I to bring it up? Hey Edward, by the way, you are bi. That's not exactly something you accuse someone of, is it?" She'd asked me. No, I guess it's not.
Leaning my head onto her shoulder I said "What do I do now?"
"What do you mean?" She questioned.
"Well… I've never actually been with a guy." I frowned at that, it's not like I didn't want to. I wanted to fuck the very person I lived with, but there weren't many places to meet people like me in this Podunk town.
"Don't worry about it, Edward, it'll happen eventually. You are far too pretty for your own good." Bella said laughing lightly and I realized she was teasing me.
"Oh, shut up." I told her and tickled her side until she squealed and let out a high-pitched scream. She fought my hands and slapped them lightly.
Laughing she eventually stopped and pulled my head in her lap smoothing the hair back I'd practically pulled out of my head. Bella was my best female friend. I wasn't as close to her as I was to Jasper, but then again I didn't tell him I was bi. I told her.
Sighing I closed my eyes and relaxed. She didn't run from me or kick me out. Relief flooded through me and I think I drifted off to sleep for a minute in her lap.
Sitting up I hugged her and said "Thanks, I needed to tell someone."
"It's okay, Edward, you can tell me anything." She said. Looking into her eyes I leaned forward and kissed her sweet mouth. To say she was shocked would have been an understatement. Pushing me away she said "What do you think you are doing?"
Rolling my eyes at her I said "Isn't it obvious? I'm kissing you or at least I was."
Bella closed her eyes and sighed in exasperation. "Edward, what exactly do you want from me?" She asked. I didn't know. It was a moment.
"I don't know… I'm confused." We'd just shared this very personal thing at least for me and I felt like now that we were closer I might actually be able to have her. No guys would be forthcoming here and I wasn't about to waste my time not doing anything.
"Edward, don't take this the wrong way. I'm flattered, I really am, and you are one hot guy, but I can't be with you like this. We are friends, nothing more." Bella explained imploring with me to understand. I didn't want to understand, but I did. Fuck my life.
"I'm not about to compete with both sexes just to get you and besides I know you love me a little. I also know that you love Jasper more. It's so obvious I'm shocked he hasn't figured it out yet." Bella said and my heart stopped beating for a minute.
Swallowing I said "What do you mean?"
Bella rolled her eyes at me and crossed them under her breasts. "What I mean is when you are together I see it. When you look at him I see it. For the most part I wouldn't think anything would come of it, but occasionally I see him look at you the same way." What? She was imagining that last part.
Shaking my head at her I said "You're wrong. Jasper only likes girls."
Glaring at me she said "I'm not wrong. Not about this. He may not look at other guys, but he definitely sees you as more than a friend. It's a little disconcerting, to be honest. I'm not sure he even knows."
That was the last time we ever mentioned Jasper as possibly liking me at all. It was just too painful for me. When I started bringing girls home I noticed he'd get jealous and it would remind me of that day, but I was never sure that's what it was about. It made me feel good in a sick way though.
Bella continued to be my confidante throughout all of this. When I finally got the chance to be with a guy, it went horribly wrong and I told her about it. Lying on her bed I said "Bella, it was just so awful. Neither one of us knew what we were doing. We couldn't figure out how to get it in, either one of us." I sighed in frustration. My first attempt and at that point I thought it might be my last.
Bella laughed at me again, fucking laughed. "I'm glad I amuse you. Now help me figure out what the hell went wrong." I said annoyed with her.
"Well… did you use lubrication of some kind?" She asked me. My face turned bright red, partly at Bella talking about lubrication and partly because I was an idiot. Technically we both were as neither one of us thought to use anything.
When I said nothing she said "Oh…" and burst into laughter again. I didn't have another chance to do anything with a guy for a good while after that and just fucked random girls.
One day I decided I couldn't take this anymore. Jasper was in a relationship with some girl at this point and it was gnawing away at me. Calling Bella up I asked her if she wanted to go with me to Seattle. "Why?" She asked.
"Well…" Here was the tricky part, to try to get her to agree to this. "There is a gay club I want to go to. It's supposed to be a nice place. Please come with me. Please." I begged her.
She was probably rolling her eyes at me. I couldn't go to a place like that by myself, not the first time anyway. "Fine, Edward. I'll go and be your fag hag. I don't know what you need me there for though. A pretty boy like you won't be left alone for long." It was my turn to roll my eyes.
In the end she was right. Fresh meat to the masses is how I felt. Many people introduced themselves to us and even to Bella. Although one guy shook her hand and immediately wiped it off as he shuddered and said "Yuck, girl's hands are too small."
Bella's jaw dropped before she said "You didn't have to shake it, asshole." Another guy laughed at her and pushed the other guy away. Too many people were vying for my attention. I was completely overwhelmed.
Eventually a good-looking guy strode up to me and asked me to dance. I looked to Bella to see if she would be okay until I realized she was engrossed in a conversation with a drag queen. I wondered what in hell they could possibly have in common. Bella dressed like a trucker half the time and just didn't give a shit about what anyone else thought.
Figuring she'd be alright I went and danced with this guy for a few songs. Grinding up on each other lust took over until the guy kissed my neck and said "Come on. Let's find somewhere else to go for a little while." Unable to protest I followed him out of the club and to what I assumed was his car. Let's just say it was more successful than my first attempt, but it was still pretty horrible.
When I came back I found Bella on the dance floor of all places. Some random guy was grinding on her and groping her breasts. Laughing at them, I wondered if she knew he was a bottom or even what that was. What I couldn't figure out is why he was bothering to dance with her, that is, until I came up to her and realized he'd been hanging out with her waiting for me. This was fucked up. I did eventually fuck that guy, but not that day.
After that weekend I went to that club nearly every weekend. Sometimes Bella came with me, but not all the time. I nearly always ended up hooked up with someone. I started seeking out more experienced people after that first time though. This became a ritual the entire time Jasper was dating the same girl. He was always gone on weekends and I was lonely and desperately trying to fill the void in my life that he couldn't.
Bella hated it. She wanted me to stop fucking, well in her eyes, too many people. She had a point, but I didn't think I could stop. Bella and I fought often over this as I didn't know where these people had been other than probably with everyone else. Let's just say it's a good thing I always wore a rubber or I made them, no matter what the other party wanted. Aside from STD's there was still an increased risk of infection having anal sex. Thanks, but no thanks. I was going to take better care of myself than that.
In college it became a little easier to fool around with guys without going to a club to meet them. It made me slow down a little anyway. Briefly Jasper and I had discussed joining a fraternity. This was not what I wanted. I thought it'd be too hard to hide what I was in a house full of guys. I wasn't worried about the other guys knowing what I was. I wasn't in the closet to anyone but Jasper. So Jasper went along with what I wanted to do, like always.
One Saturday I went to a different gay club looking for a distraction. Jasper never asked me where I went when I was gone, timing my outings when I knew he would be busy. When I got to the club everything seemed okay. It wasn't as nice as the other one I'd been going to, but it was different. Meeting a guy there we started making out on the dance floor before leaving to find somewhere more secluded. Making our way outside we were waylaid by a group of drunken men intent on a confrontation. They beat the shit out of us because we were 'fucking homos'. I'd like to think they got as good as they gave. Needless to say it put a damper on my night and I went back to the dorm to clean up.
When I walked into the room I heard Jasper shout "Holy shit, man. What happened to your face?"
Groaning all I said was "Bar fight." It was the only thing I was willing to admit to. Sitting down on my bed I forgot all about cleaning up the cuts on my face. Closing my eyes I thought I was never going back there. The security sucked ass.
The next thing I knew Jasper was wiping my face off with a wet washcloth. Opening my eyes I said "Jazz, man, you don't have to do that."
Sighing he said "I know I don't have to do that. I want to."
Letting my eyes slip closed again I breathed deeply inhaling his scent. He was entirely too close to me for my comfort. Keeping my eyes shut I tried to relax telling myself this was normal. Feeling the ghost of Jasper's lips on my bruises brought me right out of that. No, that couldn't be. I must be tipsy or have a concussion. Upon opening my eyes Jasper was at the door turned away from me saying "I'm gonna go get some ice." Then he rushed out of the room. Hmm… odd.
Lying back on my bed I tried to wait, I was out before he came back. When I awoke there was said ice melted next to me and Jasper was asleep on the floor facing me. Okay… that whole thing was odd. Ignore it, ignore it. It won't do any good to dwell on that, it might just be an overactive imagination and nothing more.
After that fight I started working out more and doing martial arts. I held my own pretty well then, but I knew my lifestyle would make me an easy target. Jasper never asked me why I had this sudden need to do this. He decided to join me though, more of my own personal heaven and hell again. He only started to become even better looking and it was a struggle to keep my desire tamped down. We still worked out together when our work schedules allowed for it. Otherwise we kept up at it alone. I wasn't sure but I think he liked the competition.
Jasper was so innocent. It was one of the many reasons I fucking loved him so much, that and the fact that he always put others before himself. If I wanted to do something he never protested and went along with it. He never wanted to disappoint anyone and was desperate for their approval most of the time. Whenever he found out what I was I wondered how he'd react. I had lived in constant fear most of my life that Jasper would find out and kick me out as my own parents did.
Who was I kidding? I still lived in that state of fear. Fuck it. I wasn't going to sleep now. Getting dressed I decided to eat something and watch TV in the living room for a while. What I figured out was daytime TV sucked ass. Annoyed I turned it off and went back to my bedroom.
Shit, I missed Jasper. He was like a drug to me and we weren't even together. This had to stop. Thinking about him I was starting to get hard. Damn it. Finding one of the gay porn videos I owned I put it in and was hoping that the guys there would distract me enough to forget about Jasper. No, it didn't help at all. All it did is make me wish I was with Jasper doing those things. Fuck. Seriously, I thought I was going to have to get out of here soon.
Hearing the door slam violently I jumped and placed my hand on the floor. Jasper must be upset about something. What that image did for me was make me want to take that anger away, to help him relax and show him how much I wanted him physically. Fuck. This was not helping me. I had to stop thinking about him, but I couldn't. My fantasy with him continued until I came hard, saying his name in a soft whisper so he wouldn't hear it. Exhausted I leaned forward on my arm to catch my breath.
Cleaning myself off with the tissues I'd placed beside me, I wondered if I'd be able to face him right after thinking about him that way. Righting my clothes and standing up I decided to fuck it, I missed him too much to hide in here. What I saw when I turned around made my blood run cold and I could hear it whoosh in my ears. There was Jasper standing in my doorway, looking angry, shocked and confused. Shit. I knew it wasn't over seeing me jerk off. He'd seen the gay men behind me. Well, I guess I was out of the closet now. I wondered what was going to happen. Would he kick me out? Would he move out? My own parents did that; I had no reason to think he'd react any differently.
Watching him I couldn't speak, the silence was ominous. He eventually asked me "Do you want a beer?" That was when I noticed he had one in his hand and I nodded my head. I needed a drink if I was going to get through this. His eyes flicked back to the TV and a look of disgust came over his face. Then he looked at me and the look was gone, replaced by one I'd never seen before. As I had no basis for it I decided I'd have to brace myself for whatever was coming. He turned around and I watched him walk away from me. He had a nice ass. Fuck me. Stop thinking about that.
Jasper threw the beer at me and I just barely managed to catch it as my mind was somewhere else and I thanked whoever it was that gave me quick reflexes. Sitting down on the couch I resigned myself to the discussion we were about to have. I'd tell him I was bisexual, the rest of it I was planning on omitting.
Jasper flopped down on the couch which was a good sign. At least he wasn't carefully trying to stay as far away from me as possible. He turned the TV on and I wondered if he was just going to pretend like nothing ever happened. It seemed like something he would do.
Then I watched as he was smiling at something. When I found my voice enough to ask him about it, he told me he was remembering the day we met in kindergarten. I smiled back at him remembering it too. I still felt a little sick, but I was starting to calm down. That was Jasper's effect on me.
"Edward…it's okay." Jasper said before continuing "We are still friends. I just wished you had told me that you were gay."
Explaining myself I barely had breath to breathe out "Jasper…I'm not gay. I like both men and women."
Jasper looked curious then and asked "Edward, why haven't I seen you with any guys?" Mainly because I didn't want you to.
Shrugging I said "They were just for quick fucks. I rarely slept with the same guy twice, and if I did it was in the same twenty-four hour period. I never wanted to be with any of them in a relationship."
"Why?" Jasper asked me. Because I wanted to be with you, but I couldn't tell him that.
"Um… well you know I have unrequited love for Bella and now that she is happily together with Jacob, it just seemed like I'd never have the relationship I wanted." I answered hoping he'd drop it there.
"What about a guy? You don't feel the same way about any guy?" Jasper asked me still looking confused. Yeah, I felt that way about a guy, but I wasn't about to tell him who.
"I do feel that way about a guy. I want to be with him more than I've ever wanted to be with anyone, but he doesn't feel the same way." I answered him as honestly as I could. His face clouded with anger at that and I wondered why.
"Jasper, this person is not gay and that is a huge problem." I told him.
Jasper looked down and he had a happy look on his face. What the hell was that for? Fuck. I wish this conversation was over already.
"Well… how do you know they aren't gay?" Jasper choked out.
Looking at him questioningly I said "I've never seen him with a guy or seen him do or say anything that would make me think he would welcome my advances."
Staring at me Jasper said "I didn't know you played for both teams until today Edward and I've known you twenty-four years."
I smiled at him and said "True, true." Then I took the last swallow of beer feeling better. He hadn't run from me, yet. When I took the bottle away from my mouth I looked at Jasper and watched him lick his lips. I thought I saw lust there, but I must have been imagining that surely. "Jasper…?" I questioned. Then I watched as his eyes met mine and then moved to my lips. His head cocked to the side and he tilted forward as though he wanted to kiss me. No, that couldn't be. As he got closer to me I leaned forward wanting to kiss him with everything I had. I may never get another opportunity. Our lips touched and it was wonderful and I put everything I felt for him into that one kiss. Jasper put his arms around my neck and into my hair and I knew for sure then this was what he wanted. Cupping his face with one hand and his neck with the other I pressed my tongue against his lips forcing him to part them for me. Sucking his tongue into my mouth I wished it was his cock I was sucking on. Our tongues fought for control until Jasper broke away for air.
Jasper kissed my neck and his hands came down to my chest and I jumped back in shock. I'd wanted this for so long, it just couldn't be real. His hands went to his shirt and he was going to take it off. No, he couldn't do that. If he did I wouldn't be responsible for how far we took this and I didn't want to scare him off. My hands clamped down on his and he looked hurt as I thwarted his attempt to be closer. If he only knew… Well, I could show him that I still wanted him. Pushing him down on the couch I made sure he could feel just how much I wanted him. His own erection came as a surprise to me, even though it shouldn't have after what we'd been doing. Kissing his lips gently I heard him whisper "Please…" He needed me to take care of his erection, but I was afraid to go too far.
Loosening his belt I pulled it off and unbuttoned and unzipped his pants. Pushing his shirt up a little I put my hand inside his boxers and tried to gauge his reaction to what I was doing. Jasper moaned saying "Edward…please."
Getting up off him I touched his shoulder and said "I'll be right back." Going back to my bedroom I picked up the bottle of lube I'd been using when he found me.
When I came back I laid back down on him like I was before and as he didn't protest I kissed him again. I thought maybe if I left him alone for a minute he might decide this was too much for him. "Just making sure this is what you want." I told him before opening the bottle of lube and warming it in my hands. I couldn't believe he was letting me touch him like this. His cock felt right in my hand and by the noise he was making I thought he felt that too. After a while Jasper started thrusting up into my hand and pulled my head down to kiss me hard. Fuck. He came on my hand and his stomach as he cried out my name. My name.
Jasper looked a little uncomfortable with what just happened which made me glad I didn't try anything more than that. "Jasper…" I breathed out and kissed his neck hearing his moan.
"Hmm…" was all he said.
"You… you are the one I've been dreaming of." I finally admitted. I never planned on telling him this, but after what we just shared I thought I had to.
Jasper kissed my hair and I continued saying "Jazz… I love you, I always have, but you were unobtainable." Then I skimmed my hand over his hip and his cock and said "I can tell you want me here, but…" Then my hand moved over his head and his heart before I said "I don't know if you are ready for something like this though." I sighed frustrated, I wanted him so badly. "I don't want you to be a quick fuck. I want to be with you. Right now I'm going to let you come to me when you've made up your mind what you want and I won't say anything more about it. When or if you've decided to be with me, it's all or nothing, Jasper."
Jasper ran his hands through my hair one last time and kissed my head. I got up and went back to my room. Once inside I leaned against my door and slid down trying to make sense of what just happened. I couldn't. My hand was still covered in Jasper's cum and I brought it to my mouth tasting him wishing that I could taste more. This was fucked up. Not that long ago I was contemplating moving out so I could live my life in freedom without Jasper. Now that he knew what I was even if nothing else happened between us I knew I wouldn't be able to leave.
Sighing I got up and decided to change into clothes that were less disheveled than these. Now that the moment was gone between me and Jasper I wondered if I'd be able to face him. I was beyond embarrassed. Deciding I'd missed him all day I was going to at least attempt to talk to him and hope he would be okay doing that.
Knocking on his bedroom door I opened it and saw Jasper lying there with his arm over his face and I asked him "Are you hungry? Do you want to grab something to eat? I have to work tonight and every night this week, so I won't see you much otherwise."
Jasper stood up and strode up to me as I backed away. I wasn't about to crowd him now, I was still afraid he was going to freak out. He frowned when I backed away and asked "Where do you want to go?"
We decided on Thai food, which I knew he didn't really like. He only pretended because that's what I liked. It was close though and I still had to work the night-shift so I couldn't be out too long.
Walking hurriedly in the pouring rain we were both soaking wet. I watched as the rain clung to his eyelashes, his lips. The rain was making his clothes cling so tightly I could see everything. Damn. This was not helping me and I had to adjust myself.
Sitting in a booth across from him I noticed he was having the same trouble I was. His eyes wandered over my body and I smirked when I caught him at it. Eventually he tried to only look at my face, but that must have been too much for him because he looked away. Trying to get him to come back to me I asked him "So what was wrong with you that you were slamming the door when you got home?"
He answered telling me his boss thought he was too good-looking and was afraid he'd take advantage of his students. That was hilarious. He hadn't dated anyone in as long as I had. I laughed and said "Well, isn't it nice to know you are good-looking, even if it interferes with your job?"
Growling at me he said "No, it is not." Fuck me. That growl was sexy as hell and I had to adjust myself again. If nothing else happened I now had that to add to my fantasies.
"That growl is sexy, you know." I told him, letting it slip. Fuck. Jasper looked down and I wished I'd kept my mouth shut. Nudging his leg with my foot he looked back at me and I said "I'm sorry. I know I said I wouldn't say anything, but I couldn't help myself."
"It's okay. I mean I like that you liked it, but I'm not sure what I want to happen here yet." Jasper pleaded with me and I nodded my head.
The silence around us was thick and uncomfortable and I was too afraid to say anything, afraid I'd fuck it up. Then Jasper asked me the one question I'd never given him an answer to. "Edward, why did your parents kick you out? You never told me."
Anger washed over me then. I tried to avoid talking about this to anyone. They were the reason I never told Jasper what I was. Leaning forward so I could tell him without the other patrons hearing I said "My parents caught me doing pretty much the same thing you did; only they were less understanding. You remember my dad was in politics and planned to go on even further, right?" He said he did remember that and then I continued "Well, if you remember right, they were ultraconservative, not just moderately so. Anyway, my father yelled at me to get out and not come back, that no son of his would be a fag. That was the last time I ever saw either one of my parents. I don't know if my mom wants to contact me or not. My father was always extremely controlling, he's probably made it impossible for her to do so." I didn't want to have this conversation, it made me sad and it made me miss my own mother.
Jasper looked at me with tears in his eyes and placed a hand over mine and asked "Do my parents know what happened?"
"Yes, they knew. My parents contacted them and sent them money to take care of me. Well, I'm sure my mom was the one that did that, not my father. They never told you because I asked them not to. I was afraid if you knew you would disown me as fast as my parents did and I couldn't bear it." I explained and he squeezed my hand.
"I'm so sorry. I had no idea what was going on." Jasper said and then smiled at me saying "At least I got to live with you out of it." I smiled at him then and he squeezed my hand once more before pulling it back. I wished he'd left it there. I needed the closeness.
"Is that why you became a doctor, to be like our dad and nothing like yours?" He asked me. I didn't miss it when he said our dad instead of his.
"Yes, I decided I wanted to help people and not tell them how to run their lives, but it didn't matter. I never wanted to be in politics anyway. My father had wanted me to become a lawyer and I had absolutely no desire to do so. I'm sure I was a disappointment to him in more ways than one." I answered sadly, wishing my parents could have accepted me for who I was.
In the apartment now I noticed Jasper staring at my wet clothes and I teased him "Like what you see?"
I watched him swallow and heard him say "More than I would like to admit to myself." I smiled at him then. Never would I have thought he'd admit to that much.
Standing close to him, inhaling his scent I whispered in his ear "Whenever you are ready, I'll be here waiting." Then I kissed the soft skin of his ear before turning back to my room to grab my uniform.
My hand was on the doorknob ready to turn it and walk out when I heard Jasper say "Wait." Turning around I was met with his lips as they crashed into mine. What I registered here was he did this on his own without my influence. I felt a thrill of pleasure that maybe, just maybe he wanted me too.
My hands brushed back his normally curly hair that was now soaked with rain back and I licked his lips. "You have beautiful hair." I told him completely serious looking into his eyes. I'd been dreaming of putting my hands in it for a while now.
He ran his hands through my own messy bronze locks before saying "No, you have gorgeous hair." I smiled at him; he seemed shocked he'd said any such thing.
"I will see you next week hopefully." I told him before leaving. It was doubtful I'd see him for more than five minutes between now and then.
My week at the hospital seemed to drag by. All I wanted was to see Jasper no matter what choice he made or didn't. This week seemed to bring all the people with colds into the ER which fucking irritated me to no end. I really loathed taking care of patient's when they shouldn't be there using resources and space and time for those that truly needed to be there.
Glad that my week was finally over and I could see Jasper again, I hurried home and took a shower and slept for a few minutes until I heard him come home. Getting dressed I went to his bedroom and saw him at his desk typing. Looking over his shoulder my nose was assaulted once again with his smell. When I saw what he was writing I said "I'm so happy for you, that you are finally doing something for yourself."
He turned around and said "Yes, and I've also decided to do something else for myself." Standing up he put his arms around me and I could feel his erection against me. Jasper said "I've decided I want this. I want us." Was he really saying what I thought he was? This moment made me happy, but I was unsure. Was he doing this because it's what I wanted? No, surely even I couldn't make him do something like that against his will.
"Are you sure?" I asked him.
"Positive. I want you." He answered leaving no doubt it's what he wanted.
"Let's celebrate. Come on, we can go somewhere you like this time. I know you don't like Thai food." I told him and watched as his eyes widened in surprise. "Just because you don't think I notice, it doesn't mean that I don't know. You can fool the rest of the world, but not me. Never me."
Grinning at me he said "Okay, but don't you want to be together right now?" He looked innocent when he said this, but I knew better.
"Jasper, come on. I'm actually hungry and I need food for energy before being with you. We can enjoy each other later. I've only waited most of my life for you. You've waited all of a week." I said laughing at him. I also needed to make sure this is what he wanted. I had been certain it'd take him longer than a week to make this kind of decision.
Eating sushi was never on my favorite things to do, but for Jasper I'd do just about anything. I was happy when he acted like we were 'together'. I thought it'd take him much longer to accept us as an 'us' in public. He never let go of my hand the entire way home to our apartment.
Our first night together was spent sharing lust, love, desire, and passion. Determined, I had to make his first experience with me better than mine had been with other guys. I wanted him to feel good, to want more. He was so innocent and yet full of passion. In all my years of fucking other guys I'd never felt as good as I did now.
When he fucked me face to face I almost couldn't handle it. It was too much, too intense, to feel love radiating from him. He was better at this than even he knew.
Jasper telling me he loved me was almost bittersweet. I'd waited so long to hear him say it and mean it as he was in love with me. It was far too easy for me to tell him that I loved him. I'd only kept it inside for years out of fear and now that the fear was lifted I couldn't hold it in any longer.
Sleeping together in my bed I tried to catch up on all the sleep I'd missed over the week, both from work and from my worry over what Jasper was going to do. Occasionally I opened my eyes to take in his naked form as he slept as well. God, he was gorgeous. I traced the muscles of his chest a few times before falling into a deep sleep.
We slept the rest of the day away and the night. Waking up I noticed Jasper was gone from my bed and I sat up wondering where he was when I smelled something cooking. My stomach growled and I smiled to myself. Getting out of bed I found some boxers to put on before going out to eat breakfast with my love.
Enjoying our breakfast together, it was comfortable instead of awkward like I feared. That was mostly in part to Jasper's calming influence.
Finally having the courage to ask him about this I said "Jasper, do you remember in college when I came back to the dorm beaten up?"
"Yes, Edward, I remember that night very well." He said a little upset, but at what I didn't know.
"Well… I know you took care of me. Don't get me wrong, maybe I imagined this, but… did you kiss me? I thought I felt you kiss the bruises on my face." Swallowing hard I hoped I didn't make him mad bringing this up.
"You… you didn't imagine it. You looked so helpless I couldn't have stopped it even if I wanted too, which I didn't. It completely freaked me out, so I had to get out of the room." Jasper admitted. "That's not the worst of it though." What the fuck was he talking about?
"Why? What did you do?" I asked him.
Jasper looked right at me and said "When I got back to the room you were already asleep so I held the ice to your bruises for a good while. You had a cut on your lip though and sitting there staring at it I leaned down and kissed that too." I gasped and he held up his hand. "Then I sucked your lip into mine and even in your sleep you kissed me back. I didn't know what the hell was wrong with me and decided that I would pretend like nothing ever happened. It's not like you would remember that."
"Do you mean if I hadn't been such a coward we might have been together before now?" I prompted him, furious with myself.
Jasper shrugged and said "I don't know. I was pretty freaked out at the time, so I'm not sure it would have been a good idea." Absorbing this information I sat back for a minute before continuing to eat my breakfast.
As we polished off the rest of our food Jasper grabbed my hand and pulled me to his chest. Kissing me gently he asked "Shower?"
Not hesitating for a second I started walking backwards toward the bathroom keeping my arms around his waist and my lips against his. We managed to make it there surprisingly without falling over. Turning the water on to warm up we kissed a few more times and I licked a line up his neck. Jasper tasted and smelled like salty ocean water and sun. Sun, something we didn't get much of in Seattle. No wonder I craved him.
Pulling the jeans down he'd put on this morning I took my time looking at him naked and vulnerable. I kissed the muscles of his chest and his stomach before licking a long line back up towards his throat hearing him groan and whisper "Edward…" Coming back to his mouth I kissed him again sweeping my tongue inside his mouth. Instead of our tongues battling for dominance this time they danced together gracefully each of us knowing how to make the other squirm. Coming up for air I removed my boxers and stepped into the shower waiting for him to do the same.
Jasper stood behind me pressing his erection into my ass and kissed my neck and shoulder sucking hard, marking me. The spray of water ran down our skin in rivulets reminding me of the night in the rain, only this time I was going to see everything. No clothes impeded my view now. Turning my body around to face him I placed my hands on his hips and pulled him close. Our cocks brushed against each other and I moaned, my voice echoing off the tiles. Soaping up my hand I reached down and ran my hand up and over Jasper's erect cock. His body shivered and he said "Fuck." Then bit down hard on his lip. Using my other hand that wasn't currently occupied bringing him to new heights I squeezed his jaw until his teeth let go of his lip. Then my own lips captured his bottom one sucking gently before nibbling on it.
Letting go of his mouth I kissed a line across his jaw up to his ear. Biting down on his earlobe I teased it with my tongue before whispering "I want you to fuck me. Jazz please, I need to feel you inside me." Jasper threw his head back and whimpered. I let go of his cock and he kissed me hard growling. Pushing me against the tiles he pressed his body as close to mine as possible.
"Edward, I want to fuck you so much, to feel your tight ass around me." Jasper growled against my neck.
Slipping out of the shower I grabbed a condom and some lube. He wouldn't need to use as much as last night, but I was still pretty sure I needed a good amount of the stuff. Coming back to him I kissed him a little more softly this time. Handing him the lube I tore open the condom package and rolled it over his cock. Then I took the bottle back from him and poured the lube into my hand before running it over his erection.
Jasper turned me around so I was facing the wet tiles and I thought he might just try to take me this way, right at that moment. Instead he knelt down and pushed my ass cheeks open as he licked the opening. Grunting I pushed my hips back into him. Then I felt one of his wet fingers push inside me and then another as I adjusted to the feel. He pumped them in and out a few times before adding another one. He didn't use any lubrication this time other than the spray of water dancing off our bodies.
Feeling him pull his fingers out I tried to relax my muscles to accept him. I needed him inside me. When I didn't feel anything I turned my head to look down at him and he was still kneeling looking at my ass. He noticed me staring at him and he smiled before placing a kiss on one cheek and standing up. "I'm going to fuck you, Edward, but not with you turned away from me. I want to watch you, to see your face. I want to watch you come for me." Jasper said huskily.
Confused I didn't know what he had in mind as this was the best way to do this in the shower. He turned me around and kissed me again running his hands down my chest to my ass. Then he picked up one of my legs to wrap it around his waist followed by the other one. My breath caught as he pressed my back against the tile and with his hands on my ass pushed me up a little before pushing into me. Fuck. My head tilted back until it met with the tile wall and I gasped. This position would not have been possible if we weren't both in good shape. He still had his hands on my ass and mine had come up to his shoulders pushing on them to work myself up and down over his cock. Jasper kissed my chest and started to thrust his cock into me faster than I was able to move over him. My own cock rubbed against his stomach in a deliciously pleasant way. I was getting close. So close. Gripping Jasper's shoulders tighter I cried out "Fuck, Jazz. I'm close. Please tell me you are close too."
"Let it go. Come for me, Edward. I want to feel your tight ass clench against my hard cock." Jasper whispered into my neck.
That was all it took for me to cry out "Jazz, I'm coming." He held onto my hips as my own cum spilled out between us and my muscles clenched around his own erection still inside me. It felt so amazing I needed a minute before I could continue moving to bring him to the brink. "Jasper, come for me. You feel so good. I want to feel you let go inside me." I knew the words might bring him what he needed and I was right.
He let go shouting out "Fuck, Edward." Jasper leaned his head against mine to catch his breath before slipping out of me and letting my legs touch the floor.
Immediately I wrapped my arms around him and said "That was wonderful." Jasper sighed contentedly.
We washed each other's bodies off after we regained our composure and let the warm water work out any kinks we might have after all the things we had done over the past twenty-four hours.
Dressed now we decided to go out and spend the day together doing nothing in particular as long as it was together. I realized then how much I had missed his company over the past week. Stopping on the sidewalk we were currently on I faced him wrapping my arms around his waist and said "I love you, Jazz."
Looking at me he smiled and said "I love you, too." Then wonder of wonders he kissed me full of passion on the street in front of everyone, unashamed. It made me wish I'd been stronger, that I hadn't been ashamed.
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