Scars and Nightmares: Chapter Ten

Scars and Nightmares: Chapter Ten

Characters belong to SM, the story is all mine.

JPOV

Edward was outside talking to a woman, they sounded like friends. She asked him if we were friends. No, we weren't friends. We'd just met. Could I even be friends with someone? Did I want to be? No. No one else should be hurt by me. He would be hurt.

My past relationships had never worked out, no one could understand me, understand my reactions to things. Edward promised he wouldn't call me baby, but that didn't mean it wouldn't slip. I'd been with men before that had called me that in the heat of the moment. They never could understand why I'd end it then, why I'd run. I never looked back, never explained myself. To me no one was worth telling my story too.

My emotions were as liquid. They were easily contained, but one, just one, slight mishap could send them spilling forth, leaving me empty, weightless. Sometimes I wish I was made of nothing. If I was nothing, then I could control what I was made of, what went inside me.

Closing my eyes I tried to will the sounds and sights and smells of the hospital away. Why was I here again? Oh yeah, because I couldn't finish the job right the first time.

My bed was shaking, rocking hard. I must have fallen asleep again out of boredom because the sounds were much busier than before. Why was my bed shaking? Opening one eye I peered out into the room and saw Emmett. He was in the chair, but his head and arms were on the bed. That still didn't explain why it was shaking so hard. “Emmett?” My vocal cords croaked out.

Emmett's head shot up and I could see the tears on his face, the snot running down his nose. He'd been sobbing on my bed. Why? Emmett didn't cry, ever. “Why are you crying?” I asked him. He looked at me in disbelief.

“Why am I crying? Are you serious?” He shook his head at me. “My friend tries to kill himself yesterday and it makes me curious, so I go and look at the box I gave to you. Why didn't you tell me? Hell, why didn't Eddie tell me? I didn't know that stuff happened to him either.”

Swallowing hard I said “Do you really think I want to relive it? That I want to tell the story?” Edward never told Emmett? Why?

“I just can't believe that happened to you, either of you.” Emmett said and pulled me in for a fierce hug. I wished he'd let go, I couldn't breathe and I was not comfortable with touching very much. Edward had been the exception to that rule and I doubted he even knew, knew how much that meant.

“You can't believe what happened?” Edward asked as he walked into the room.

Emmett was still sniffling and sobbing and not making any sense, so I stepped in. “He saw the videos of us.” I stated flatly, conveying no emotion.

“Oh.” Edward said and then his eyes widened as the realization of what I'd just said sunk in and he shouted “OH!”

Emmett rounded on him and said angrily “Why didn't you tell me? We've been friends for a long time and you never mentioned a thing.”

“Why? Why do you think? You wouldn't understand anyway and I didn't want you to feel that kind of pain.” Edward told him.

“So... all those times Alice said you were in the hospital sick, they weren't true, were they? You did the same thing that Jasper did, didn't you?” Emmett asked sneering.

“Emmett... I was sick, just not in the way you thought. Now calm down. You can yell at me later, I can handle it. Jasper can't right now.” Edward spoke softly. Emmett looked at us in horror and shame and sat back down in the chair, still crying. He laid his head back down on the bed.

Shocking myself my hand went to his head patting it. Looking at Edward I mouthed 'What do we do now?'

Edward's jaw tightened right before he mouthed back 'Don't kill yourself.' Forgetting that I was supposed to act like I was better I shook my head no. Tears welled in Edward's eyes and he tried to blink them back. My hand moved of its own accord from Emmett's head to Edward's face. I didn't want to see the beautiful man cry, I just didn't know how to stop it. I didn't know how to crawl my way out of this hell, out of this prison that I was locked in.

AN: So... some of you were right about Emmett.