Scars and Nightmares: Chapter Four

Scars and Nightmares: Chapter Four

AN: I'm so happy that many of you liked the last chapter. I know it was hard to read, but I wanted you all to know and understand where he's coming from.

Characters belong to Stephenie Meyers, the story, all mine.

JPOV

My body was weakening when I heard banging on my door. Let them bang, I'd be dead soon anyway. There was a loud crash and running feet coming towards me and a voice shouting “Jasper?” Eventually the voice stopped as the man belonging to it saw me in the bathtub, bleeding. He called it in. “Jasper, are you an idiot? What the fuck do you think you're doing in there?” Emmett yelled at me. He saw the bottle of Tylenol and the razors and the bloody red water I was sitting in and started shouting at me. I was having a hard time hanging on to what he was saying. “Keep your eyes open, Jasper.” Emmett shouted and slapped me a few times, as if that would actually help.

Eventually an ambulance got there to take me to the hospital. Emmett followed behind in the cruiser. I wasn't sure what all occurred after that. I know I was given charcoal to throw up all the Tylenol in my system and when I looked down at my arms after having vomited what felt like my entire insides my arms were all bandaged. They didn't give me any medicine for pain as I was all fucked up after taking all those pills. My arms burned like they were on fire. Why had Emmett stopped me? I still didn't want to be on this earth.

At some point I was taken somewhere else besides the ER. The psych ward, maybe? I didn't know. I was asleep when I heard a shuffle of papers in my room. Opening my eyes I met the most beautiful green eyes I'd ever seen. I frowned at him, he reminded of the little boy. “How are you feeling today?” The man asked me and I realized he was a doctor.

“Fine, except I didn't want to be here today, now did I?” I asked him bitingly. He raised an eyebrow at me.

“Okay Jasper, you didn't want to be here. Are you feeling any pain at all today?” He asked me.

“Only my arms, they feel like they are on fire. It's not like I can't deal with the pain though.” I said. I'd lived through much, much worse.

“Jasper, I need to take a look at your wounds, if that's okay?” He asked me and I nodded. What did it matter now anyway? I was sure once I got out of here I'd do the same thing, only succeeding that time.

The doctor pulled the sheets back and pushed up the hospital gown looking at the old and fresh scars on my thighs. Tracing them his jaw clenched tight in anger. I'd seen that look, but where? “Do I know you?” I asked him.

Shaking his head no he said “No, I don't think so.” Then he looked as though he was debating something berfore he leaned down and whispered in my ear “But I think I know what you're going through.”

He unwrapped my arms and took a look at the long gashes I'd left there. They'd be ugly things for sure, but as I didn't plan on living much longer it didn't matter. I knew I had stitches where the deeper gashes were so he didn't cover them back up instead letting them heal with the air over them.

Then the doctor pressed against my belly feeling all around. I assumed he was seeing by hand if I'd done too much damage to my liver. I guess what he saw so far was a relief to him, but he told me he wanted to order more tests to make sure. I wanted to tell him not to bother, it wouldn't make any difference. I chose to keep my mouth shut as long as possible knowing they'd never let me out if they thought I would go back and do that again immediately.

I watched the doctor run his hands through his hair, it was a strange shade of bronze. Sitting bolt upright in my bed I gasped and stared at him. He looked at me, startled. He was in even more shock when I threw the covers off and lifted my gown to show him the J carved into my skin on my lower abdomen. When he could move again his hand reached out to touch the scar. I knew he was the boy that killed that man, that man that I hated with all my being. Neither one of us said anything, but his hand didn't move either. He just looked into my eyes trying to see something there as I was doing the same to him.

“Dr. Cullen?” Emmett greeted him jovially. The atmosphere in the room didn't deserve that. Cullen?

“Edward...?” I whispered. It was the name on that tape. The one of the angry, murderous boy.

“Yes, my name is Edward.” He said slowly. His eyes still hadn't left mine even after Emmett walked in.

Emmett came over and slapped Edward on the back and said “Good to see you've finally met. I didn't want it to be like this though. Jasper, are you stupid or something?” He asked me.

“What are you talking about, Emmett?” I asked him, unable to remember.

He rolled his eyes at me and said “This is the doctor I wanted you to meet. You're an idiot though. I doubt he'd want to date someone who just tried to take himself out of this world.”

“Emmett, get out. Jasper can't handle being teased right now.” Edward told him.

“Fine, fine. But I'm keeping an eye on you even if I have to camp out at your house.” Emmett threatened. Great.

“I'm sorry about that.” Edward and I said at the same time and we both laughed. I groaned, it hurt to laugh after all that vomiting.

“I've got other patient's to see right now, I'll be back to check on you later.” Then Edward smiled the most breathtaking crooked smile I'd ever seen before walking out the door. Wow. Maybe I could do this after all. Maybe I could live in this world. He obviously did it. I didn't know how, but he did.

AN: So I gave you guys some hope for Jasper, but don't think for a minute this is over with. Real life is a cold, hard place, not the fantastical place we all wish it was. If it wasn't then we wouldn't appreciate the butterflies and rainbows of life as they came along.