Scars and Nightmares: Chapter Seven

Scars and Nightmares: Chapter Seven

Characters belong to Stephenie Meyers, this story and nightmare is still mine.

JPOV

Dr. Swan left me in the room alone, bitch. She wasn't a very good doctor if she left me here by myself, was she? Getting out of bed I made my way to the bathroom again just for something to do, I was bored out of my fucking mind. When I came back into the room a nurse was there waiting for me. She took my vital signs as if I really needed her to. Then she said “Are you hungry?”

My stomach growled loudly then and I nodded my head. She came back with a little bit of food, nothing like a full meal though. I doubted I could keep it down after all that charcoal even though I was starving. Hmm... someone that wanted to die shouldn't be hungry, should they? I nibbled at the food, even though it wasn't much it was still hospital food. Gross. The nurse stayed with me while I ate and I wondered if it was just so she could pass the time, as though they didn't trust me in here alone. After my earlier stunt they shouldn't, but I wished they would.

“Whitlock, I'm back, man.” Emmett said the scent of fast food wafting over to me. My mouth watered, I guess I was still hungry. He set a small bag down that I assumed had the things I asked for from my home since the bag came from my apartment. Then he sat down in the empty chair and waited until the nurse left us. Putting the food on the hospital tray in front of me he started pulling things out. They were all the greasiest, fattiest foods I'd ever seen at one time.

“What's all this, Emmett?” I asked him truly curious.

“Well... I wanted to remind you of what you'd be missing.” He said looking down. I supposed that was his way of being thoughtful, but I really didn't eat most of this stuff on a normal basis. Taking a few bites of the greasy tasteless food, the inside of my mouth had a layer of film on it that I didn't care for. I only took a few more bites of food before I gave up on pretending I even liked the stuff. It was disgusting. If I was going to eat rich food I wanted something better than that. Hmm... again, why would I care? Didn't I want life to end?

Pushing the tray away from me I got up and picked up the bag. I was pretty sure they'd make me stay in a hospital gown, but I at least wanted to put some underwear on. The whole hospital didn't need to see my ass hanging out. Now if Edward wanted to... I shook my head, that was a dangerous line of thought, especially as I didn't intend to live much longer.

Opening my bag in the bathroom I found the stuff to brush my teeth and then some boxer briefs, everything had been thrown haphazardly in the bag. I had to rearrange everything so I could find things. Eventually my hand landed on my iPod. My body instantly relaxed when I felt it, I needed it to get me through the hours of boredom.

Coming back out to the room iPod in hand I climbed back into the bed. The bed was already in a sitting position to eat so I just leaned my back against it and crossed my legs Indian style. Emmett had either finished off or thrown away the food he'd brought, I wasn't certain. He moved the chair so it was facing me now.

Emmett's eyes looked sad when he took me in and on the verge of tears. “Jasper, please don't kill yourself. I... I... don't think I could handle it.” He swallowed a few times as he said this pleading with me.

“Emmett... I...” What should I say? I couldn't handle living in this world, so I was supposed to live in it because he wished it? No.

At that moment Edward interrupted us and I was grateful for it. It seemed like he was giving me the mercy I desperately needed. “Emmett, you should go home. I can stay here with Jasper.” Edward said.

Emmett looked at Edward and said “You have to work tomorrow too, you should go home and get some rest.”

Edward only shook his head and said “No, you go on ahead. I'm sure Rosalie wants you home.”

“What about Alice?” Emmett asked Edward. Alice? Who's Alice? I was positive Edward was gay, so that didn't make sense.

Edward shrugged and said “She can fend for herself for one night. I'll call and tell her I'm staying here. Besides, you'd be kicked out in a few hours. One of the advantages of working here... I'm never kicked out.” He had a wide grin when he said the last.

“Okay, okay. You got me. I'll go home after you call Alice.” Emmett said not wanting me to be alone for one second. Edward turned around and walked to the nurse's station that I could barely make out through the open door. He looked like he was smiling and laughing on the phone before he came back to the room.

“Now go home, Emmett.” Edward commanded.

Emmett got up from the chair and before leaving said “See you tomorrow, Whitlock.”

I rolled my eyes at him and said “Bye.” I knew I should be grateful that he saved my life and under any other circumstances I would have been, but not when I was the one that wanted it to end.

Edward sat down in the empty chair. His nose wrinkled at the smell in the room. It still reeked of fast food and grease. “Damn, what did Emmett feed you? That smell is disgusting.” Edward said and I laughed, hadn't I thought that as well?

His eyes crinkled a little at my laugh and he gave me a crooked smile in return. It was beautiful. Damn it. Jasper, you have it bad and you don't even want it. Trying to appear normal I said “Yeah, it is. Emmett brought me some fast food. I didn't eat much of it though, I don't really like food like that very often. It lacks taste except grease.” That was true. I probably could have eaten a lot of that crap at one point in my life, but after getting used to not eating it your taste buds slowly come back and reminded you what real food is supposed to taste like.

Edward laughed and said “I'll have to remember that tomorrow.”

Surprised by this I asked “You're coming back tomorrow?”

“Yes. If that's okay with you. Emmett told me you didn't have anyone other than him and he's one of my closest friends, so if you don't mind I'd like to stay.” Edward said seriously.

Nodding my head in assent I still wondered why he'd want to stay. Maybe he was just curious about me, about our shared past, our terrifying connection. “Jasper, I want you to tell me anything. I know a counselor isn't the same as someone that's been there too.” Edward told me and I couldn't say a word, couldn't breathe. I felt like the whole room had turned upside down. He wanted to talk to me? He wanted me to talk to him? How? How could he even be comfortable talking about it at all? I wasn't. “Jasper, are you okay? You've gone all white.” He said and I couldn't speak, I felt like I was about to vomit. The saliva started to build in my mouth and I shot out of the bed nearly falling and into the bathroom. I barely made it before I threw up violently. When I was done I walked to the sink to rinse out my mouth and looked at my face in the mirror. Now I had broken red capillaries to go along with the redness of my arms, nice.